'Star Trek: Generations'

Star Trek:  Generations

(viewed Saturday, May 24th)

• The bottle of champagne that's seen floating through space during the opening credits, eventually colliding upon and christening the newly built Enterprise-B, is a 28-year old bottle of Dom Pérignon.
• The Enterprise-B is launched in 2293, the very same year that the Enterprise-A is decommissioned following the events of The Undiscovered Country (I always assumed that a few years had passed, until I looked it up for this blog).
• The Enterprise-B is a variant of the venerable (although still relatively modern at the time of this flashback) Excelsior class.  This variant features flared structures at the fore of the secondary hull, additional impulse engines at the aft of the primary hull and modified cowlings on the warp nacelles.
  
  
  
  
  The production reason for these things is that the effects team didn't want to damage the original Excelsior model when it did the physical effects for ship's dramatic run-in with the Nexus.  However, in canon terms this variant would become known as the "refit" Excelsior class.  Aside from the Enterprise-B, the only other time we see one on screen is the USS Lakota, which makes a brief appearance on DS9.  Most of the other Excelsiors we see are of the standard configuration.
• The Enterprise-B's captain, John Harriman, is played by Alan Ruck.  You probably known him better as Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
  
  Ruck reprises his role as Captain Harriman in the fan film Star Trek:  Of Gods And Men.
• Kirk?  Captain.
  Scotty?  Captain.
  Chekov?  Commander :(
• "It wouldn't be the Enterprise without a Sulu at the helm."
• "I was never that young."
  
  "No...you were younger."
• Despite the not-so-great dialog, this opening scene--with Captain Kirk clearly uncomfortable with being treated like a "living legend"--is pretty charming.  I had disagreements with aspects of how they handled this Kirk/Picard mash-up, but I will admit that it always does my heart good to see William Shatner back in one of those maroon movie-era uniforms :)
• The Enterprise-B picks up a distress call from the SS Lakul which, along with the SS Robert Fox, is carrying El-Aurian refugees to Earth.  Both ships are Whorfin-class transports.  The Robert Fox is named after the Federation ambassador of the same name who appeared in the TOS episode "A Taste Of Armageddon".
  
  As we learn later on, the El-Aurians are a long-lived species notable members of the species include not only this film's antagonist, but Guinan as well.
  
  We know that the Borg destroyed their homeworld, and that these particular El-Aurians were fleeing that disaster.
• One of the Enterprise-B's bridge officers, an unnamed lieutenant, is played by none other than Tim Russ.  Tim will go on, of course, to play Tuvok on VOY.
• "Captain Kirk, I would appreciate any suggestions you might have."
• Leaving Spacedock without either a tractor beam or a medical staff, even for just a quick jaunt through the Solar System, seems like a serious safety risk.
• Hey kids, it's Guinan!
• "There's just no way to disrupt a gravimetric field of this magnitude.  But...I do have a theory."
  
  "I thought you might."
• During a ceremony on the holodeck, taking place on a recreation of an unspecified 18th-19th Century sailing vessel named Enterprise, Worf is finally promoted from lieutenant to lieutenant commander.
• "Number One, that's 'retract plank' not 'remove plank'."
• "Will, just imagine what it was like.  No engines, no computers.  Just the wind and the sea, and the stars to guide you."
  
  "Bad food and brutal discipline...no women."
• Okay, if the next of kin to the captain of the Federation flagship--who at this point has to be insanely famous, who is known and either honored or feared on countless worlds, who has been tactically and strategically crucial to the survival of the Federation on numerous occasions, and who is an accomplished ambassador who has been the face of that same government in dealings with hundreds of alien species--if they die?  How is it that he gets a written communique in the mail like they're telling him that his French estate finally sold on auction?
  
  You'd think the Federation President or Commander, Starfleet or someone would make that call personally :P
• The Amargosa Observatory is a rather impressive model.  You can tell they spent some of that big-screen money on it :)
• Generations marks the point at which Starfleet apparently started to standardize the jumpsuits once worn specifically by station personnel as the standard uniform.  You see a mix of the late TNG-style uniforms and the early DS9/VOY-style uniforms throughout this movie.
  
  The new comm badges also make an appearance.
  
  
  
  (Lt. Cmdr. Data at the helm of the Enterprise-D, wearing both styles
  of Starfleet uniform seen in the late 2360s and early 2370s)
  
  The next film, First Contact, introduced the new grey jumpsuits that would become the standard Starfleet uniform for the remainder of the TNG/DS9/VOY era (although on board USS Voyager herself, the earlier DS9-style jumpsuits continued to be worn because...well, because they weren't in the right quadrant to get the memo about the new uniforms).
• The "type 3" disruptor (whatever that is) is apparently primarily used by the Klingons, Romulans and Breen.
• Hey kids, it's Malcom McDowell!  Time for a little of the old ultra-violence...
• ROMULANS!
• The good news is that the emotion chip has never really caused any problems.  So this should be fine...
• "I believe this beverage has produced an emotional response."
  
  "Really?  What're you feeling?"
  
  "I am uncertain.  Because I have had little experience with emotion, I am unable to articulate the sensation."
  
  ...
  
  "Well it looks like he hates it."
  
  "Yes, that is it.  I hate this!"
  
  "Data, I think the chip is working."
  
  "Oh, yes I hate this!  It is revolting!"
  
  "More?"
  
  "Please."
• "THEY SAY TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN."
  
  I think we have a catch-phrase for the film, ladies and gentlemen!
• Anybody who's afraid of Guinan is bad news.
• Trilithium?  Stop all fusion within a star?  Seems fine.
• "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go."
• Geordi is not amused.
• Mr. Tricorder is like, the best birthday present a kid could ask for.
  
  
  
• Burned to death in a fire?  How does that happen in the 24th Century?
• "But now they'll be no more Picards."
• I'm sometimes critical of the Galaxy class design, particularly of how it was frequently shot from an awkward ventral angle that made its large primary hull look gangly and very...un-sleek.  But from the right angle, it's an attractive design.
  
  I told you that so I could tell you this:  I watched most of TNG via Netflix, which means the original SDTV-quality (i.e. no "TNG Remastered").  Generations is the first Trek that I'm watching in "hi-def", and the ol' girl looks pretty good on the "big screen" :)
• All of the models so far are looking really good at 1080p:  the Enterprise-B, the Enterprise-D, the Amargosa Observatory and the Duras Sisters' Bird-of-Prey.  These are all existing models from previous films/series, but the visual effects team did a really good job presenting them in movie format.
• "It was like being inside joy."
  
  So, like being on fentanyl?
• The new, enhanced, planetarium-like stellar cartography lab is pretty impressive, too.  I believe we see a facility like this again on board Voyager.
• Yeah, we can't just turn you off because you're scared dude.
• ♫♪ Life forms ♪♫
  
  ♫♪ You tiny little life forms ♪♫
  
  ♫♪ You precious little life forms ♪♫
  
  ♫♪ Where are you? ♪♫
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Apparently matching the frequency of your own weapons to match the shield frequency of your opponent's vessel will allow you to penetrate those shields.  Who knew?
• Worf tells Riker that the Duras Sisters' ship is an older, "D-12 class" Bird-of-Prey, and that it was retired from service due to defective plasma coils in their cloaking device.  We can assume that "D-12" is a designation for a particular model of the classic Bird-of-Prey (sometimes called the "B'rel" or "K'Vort" class), or perhaps "D-12" is Starfleet's designation for the entire class (a la the D-7 class battlecruiser).
• The scene of the Enterprise-D's torpedo coming toward the Bird-of-Prey and its occupants being stunned at their impending death is very reminiscent of the final moments of General Chang's own Bird-of-Prey from The Undiscovered Country.  In fact, the same effects sequence is use for the destruction of the Duras Sisters' ship.
• Emotional Data does give us some of our best animated GIFs...
  
  
  
• Imminent warp core breach and emergency saucer separation?  Yet another reason why having kids and families on a starship is absolutely pants-on-head.
  
  
  
• The effects sequence of the Enterprise-D's saucer section crashing on Veridian III gives you a pretty good idea of how friggin' huge that ship was.
  
  
  
• "Well, we survived the crash everybody!  As long as nothing else super-destructive comes along, like a shock wave from an imploding star or something?  Yeah, we should be fine."
• Picard's family in the Nexus?  A complete bummer.  A total, complete bummer.  I'm so happy that they're not real.
• "I don't need to be lectured by you.  I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers.  Besides which, I think the galaxy owes me one."
• "So what do you think, guys?  Captain Picard has to chase Captain Kirk on horseback?"
  
  "Yeah, Shatner will love that.  Let's do it."
• I don't know that I've noticed before how lovely the soundtrack for this movie is.  It was done by Dennis McCarthy, who of course wrote for a lot of Star Trek shows and films as well as being the composer of the main theme for DS9.
• "Captain of the Enterprise, huh?"
  
  "That's right."
  
  "Close to retirement?"
  
  "I'm not planning on it."
  
  "Well let me tell you something...don't.  Don't let them promote you.  Don't let them transfer you.  Don't let them do anything that takes you off the bridge of that ship.  Because while you're there, you can make a difference."
• "Who am I to argue with the captain of the Enterprise?"
• "I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim?"
  
  "You could say that."
  
  "You know, if Spock was here he would say that I was an irrational, illogical human being for taking on a mission like that...sounds like fun."
• "Oh, by the way.  I'm not only the captain of the ship that bears the name of your old ship, but I also mind-melded with your former first officer and best friend."
  
  I'm never sure why he doesn't mention that to Kirk.
• "Just who the hell are you?"
  
  "He's James T. Kirk.  Don't you read history?"
• You know what?  Even old and flabby and technically dead, I don't think I'd want to fight Kirk.  Dude's stomped more alien butt than you can shake a stick at.
• "It was...fun."
  
  Goodbye, Captain James Tiberius Kirk.  We'll miss you.  I'm sorry they gave you such a crappy send-off in this movie.
  
  
  
  
  And therein lies one of my nits that I love to pick with this particular movie.  I know that we all like to pretend that Star Trek V didn't happen...but it did happen.  And there's certainly no reason to believe that Kirk's fairly silly "gut feeling" that he would die alone needs to be fulfilled.  But for such a legendary character, it feels like it should have been.
  
  Ultimately, what I don't like about Kirk's death is what I don't like about this movie.  While I enjoy see Kirk "back in action, one last time" as much as anyone else, the movie completely did not need him.  The parts of this movie that are the TNG crew doing their TNG thing are actually pretty good.  Not ground-breaking, but it's a pretty solid Trek film.
  
  When you throw Kirk into the mix--and I get why they wanted to do it--it just becomes a movie that's mostly remembered for killing Kirk off badly, not once but twice.
• The starships sent to rescue the survivors of the Enterprise-D crew from the crash site on Veridian III include one Neblua-class ship, a Miranda and an Oberth.
  
  The other two are unnamed, but we know that the Nebula-class starship is the USS Farragut, which will be lost two years later during the brief Federation-Klingon War depicted on DS9.
• "Somehow I doubt that this will be the last ship to carry the name 'Enterprise'."
 

 

TNG S07E25-26: "All Good Things..."

In this installment:
(viewed Wednesday, May 21st)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S07E25-26 - "All Good Things..."

---

So, here we are at last:  The TNG series finale.  It was bittersweet when I first watched it at the age of 14, even though DS9 had already begun its run and I knew that I had "other" Star Trek to watch.  Although I cut my teeth on TOS re-runs and the original cast films (and those movies remain some of my favorite Trek), the TNG/DS9 era in the early 1990s is when I really became a Trekkie. 

It's when I was transitioning into adolescence and finding my voice as a "nerd".  It's the era when there was loads of new Trek being made (television programs, video games, board games, novels, etc.) and the convention scene was pretty lively.  Yes, I went to a couple of them.  Yes, I dressed up.  I even briefly participated in a fan film project with some friends from school.

No, there are no surviving photographs or video footage ;)

But TNG coming to an end--because it had been on the air since I was a kid--was kind of a big moment.  It still kind of gets me "in the feels", so to speak, even though it's been 20 years since it aired and there's been plenty of Trek since (and plenty to come, I'll wager).
Speaking of which, it has actually been almost 20 years exactly since this episode aired.  It first aired on May 23rd, 1994.  I'd wait a couple of days to do the re-watch and write-up so I could nail the anniversary precisely, but I want to get to the films feature the TNG cast his weekend and then start DS9 next week :)

Okay, enough nostalgia.  On with the show...

---

"All Good Things..."

• "It was...very stimulating."
• Hey, Worf.  This whole thing about having to ask Riker's permission before you date Troi is starting to get pathetic.  I know Klingons do the whole honor thing to the extreme, but typically--among human beings (at least in the 24th Century)--I think it's probably considered rude to spend so much of your time worrying whether or not your date's ex-boyfriend is going to approve.  Even if he is your boss.
• "Counselor! Do not kiss that Klingon!"
• "I'm not sure how or why...but I'm moving back and forth through time."
  
  I enjoy that, by this time on the show, this doesn't surprise either Worf or Troi.  They're just kind of...concerned.
• <forrestgump>
  "Lt. Dan Lt. Cmdr. La Forge...you got new legs eyes!"
  </forrestgump>
• The possible future presented in this episode, Geordi not only gets new eyes but has also apparently married Dr. Leah Brahms--who had not only apparently divorced her first husband (or who knows, maybe it's a three-way poly thing?), but had also taken a position as the director of the Daystrom Institute.
  
  Geordi has apparently also had three kids and started writing sub-par fiction :P
• "Hey guys, let's get Denise back for one more episode."
• "Personally, I think you just like waking everyone up in the middle of the night."
  
  "Actually, I enjoy running around the ship in my bare feet."
• Dude, you're getting Irumodic Syndrome.
• Admiral Nakamura:  Sure, he's a friendly face than Nechayev...but also less reassuring somehow.
• 30 warbirds?  That's a lot of warbirds.  And Starfleet is deploying 15 starships along the border in response (plus the Enterprise-D actually going to the edge of the Neutral Zone to investigate the goings-on in the Devron System).
  
  Assuming all 30 of these warbirds are of the familiar D'deridex class (and there's no reason to believe they're not), that seems like a very...measured response on the part of the Federation.  Each of those warbirds is a match for a Galaxy-class starship in size (it's actually almost twice as long, although it's pretty much never portrayed that way on-screen) and firepower (if not maneuverability), and they each have that ubiquitous Romulan cloaking device.  And I doubt that every ship they're sending is as powerful as the Enterprise-D (probably a lot of Excelsiors, as Starfleet always seems to have those in spades).
• "Well, okay then.  Alright.  Let's go see Data."
• "You see them, don't you?  They're everywhere.  They're laughing at me.  Why are they laughing?"
  
  This is probably the worst possible thing you can say to people that you're trying to convince that you're not insane.
• This alternate timeline, Data holds the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics position at Cambridge University.  Former holders of this chair include Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Babbage and Stephen Hawking.
• Also, Data has apparently become a crazy old cat android.
• I wonder how everyone felt about squeezing into their old uniforms and make-up for the scenes set in the past (before their first mission to Farpoint Station).
• "Yeah, I'm not dead yet.  Totally still the security chief, dude."
• "It's okay O'Brien.  I know you're a genius.  And don't you worry about the fact that I just said that your Starfleet records include mention of you playing with model starship engines when you were a kid.  That's not creepy at all (if it were true)."
• "We'll all be burning the midnight oil on this one."
  
  "That would be inadvisable."
  
  "Excuse me?"
  
  "If you attempt to ignite a petroleum product on this ship at zero-hundred hours, you will activate the fire suppression system--which would seal off this entire compartment."
• Part of the charm of this series finale is the wistful looks on Picard's faces when he "meets" all of his loyal crew members--now almost like family to him--for the first time.  His smile as Data is explaining to O'Brien why he shouldn't "burn the midnight oil" makes me smile :)
• "It appears we will be required to ignite the midnight petroleum."
  
  I still say this sometimes when faced with a task that's going to take all night.  Seriously.
• "Deanna, it's going to be a late night.  Would you like to have some dinner first?"
  
  "Actually, I...we have plans."
  
  "Oh, I see.  I'm sorry."
  
  AWKWARD
• Hey Riker, you can't afford to be distracted by your ex-girlfriend dating your security chief.  Your captain is shifting back and forth through time, and becoming disoriented when he does so.  And the Romulans may be up to no good.  KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, MAN.
• "Get some rest, or I'll have you relieved and sedated."
  
  I think that's the most romantic thing anyone could say to anyone else.  I mean, that's the dream--a partner who will look at you with love and tenderness in their eyes...and then tell you that they're going to drug you and order you to bed.
  
  Well, it's my dream.  DON'T JUDGE ME.
• Dr. Crusher's feelings for Picard in this episode--in the present, before he finds out that they get married (and then divorced) in the future--couldn't be more obvious if some aliens hooked their brains together.
  
  While I generally find romantic entanglements between characters tedious (like the forced situation between Troi and Worf), I've always been somewhat dissatisfied that Crusher and Picard never "make it official".  That they got married (and then divorced) in the alternate future in this episode doesn't really count.
  
  Rumor has it that the writers always wanted to keep Picard available for romance with new characters--which they did a few times (Vash, Nella Daren and most dreadfully, Anij).  But all of those were really shallow compared to the obvious connection he had with Beverly.
  
  It just bums me out, that's all.  WHY CAN'T THE TWO KIDS JUST KISS AND BE HAPPY?
• In the alternate future of this episode, the Klingon Empire has invaded and completely conquered the Romulan Star Empire.  And apparently they're not so happy with the Federation, either.
  
  
  
• "Well, if we're going to the Devron System, we're gonna need a ship."
  
  "Also, please stop hitting me in the arm."
  
  
  
  
• Admiral Riker?  See?  STILL NOT A CAPTAIN.
  
  Still kind of a douchebag, though ;)
• Arrange passage on a medical ship?  If only you knew a doctor...
• Captain Doctor Crusher's ship in the future, the USS Pasteur, is the first dedicated hospital ship that we seen on Star Trek.  The Olympic-class starship is also the only canon starship design besides the pre-TOS Daedalus class to feature spherical (rather than the typical saucer-shaped) primary hull.
  
  
  
  (image courtesy of Ex Astris Scientia)
  
  Although the Olympic class appears on-screen only in this alternate future, it's considered to be a real Starfleet design.  Its silhouette appears briefly on a computer monitor during one episode of DS9, and the USS Nobel--a hospital ship mentioned several times on DS9--was an Olympic-class starship (according to the Star Trek Encyclopedia). 
• "But he's Jean-Luc Picard.  And if he wants to go on one more mission, that's what we're going to do."
• "Counselor, do you sense an alien presence?"
  
  No, but you're kind of freaking me out.
• "What...is a 'Q'?"
  
  "It's a letter of the alphabet, so far as I know."
• Hey kids, it's Q!
• "The trial never ended, Captain.  We never reached a verdict.  But now we have.  You're guilty."
  
  "Guilty of what?"
  
  "Of being inferior."
• "It's time to put an end to your trek through the stars; to make room for more worthy species."
  
  "You're going to deny us travel through space?"
  
  "You obtuse piece of flotsam.  You are to be denied existence.  Humanity's fate has been sealed.  You will be destroyed."
• "I think he has more than a passing interest in what happens to me."
  
  "That is true.  Q's interest in you has always been very similar to that of a master and his beloved pet."
• When the Enterprise-D arrives at the Neutral Zone, there are four warbirds holding position on the Romulan side.  Lt. Worf informs Captain Picard that USS Bozeman and USS Concorde are holding position on the Federation side (along with the Enterprise).
• You really can talk Worf into anything if you question his honor.
• When they finally get permission to cross the border, the USS Pasteur proceeds to the Devron System at Warp 13.  This assumes that either the Federation has developed some type of transwarp technology in this alternate future timeline, or that the warp scale has been recalibrated once again.
• The footage of young, beardless Riker on Picard's computer console is a re-use of footage from the S1 episode "Arsenal of Freedom".
• The Romulan commander of the lead warbird, IRW Terix, is our old friend Commander Tomalak.
  
  
  
• Oh, those pesky tachyons.
• "It appears to be a multi-phasic convergence in the space-time continuum."
  
  "In English, Data."
  
  "It is, in essence, an eruption in anti-time."
  
  That doesn't sound good.
• The Klingon "attack cruisers" that appear and fire on the Pasteur in the alternate future are not given a name in this episode, but the design will appear later on DS9 as the Negh'Var class--a massive warship, larger than the Vor'cha class (which was previously the most powerful warship of the Klingon Defense Forces).
  
  
  
  (image courtesy of EAS)
• And wait for it...wait for it...
  
  THREE-NACELLED ENTERPRISE, F**K YEAH!
• The alternate future version of the Enterprise-D, complete with three nacelles and a massive phaser canon mounted on the dorsal side of her primary hull, is a fan favorite.  And I get it--more nacelles, more phasers, whee!
  
  
  
  (image from ShipSchematics.net)
  
  But personally, I think it's a bit of an abomination.  It's the "hot rod" version of the Enterprise-D, and while I enjoy watching it kick some butt on-screen I'm not really a big fan of the design.
• Aww, Nurse Ogawa loses her baby.  Stupid anti-time :(
• "Strange, isn't it?  Everything you know--your entire civilization--it all begins right here, in this little pond...of goo."
• So Troi dies in this alternate future?  I'm okay with the three-nacelled Enterprise, then.
• "IT'S LIKE THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG, WILL.  THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG!"
• A static warp shell is just, like...the best kind of warp shell.
• Well, if you're going to blow up the Enterprise for series finale, you might as well do it three times.
• "Goodbye, Jean-Luc.  I'm going to miss you.  You had such potential.  But then again...all good things must come to an end."
• "You just don't get it, do you?  The trial never ends."
• "See you...out there."
• When Picard comes out at the end (again) in his robe and asks Troi and Worf what the stardate is, I half expect him to say "Then I've not missed it!" (a la A Christmas Carol).
• "I just thought that I might join you this evening, if there's room."
  
  "Uh, actually...we've already got six.  And this is a pretty small table."
  

TNG S07E24

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, May 20th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E24 - "Preemptive Strike"

---

"Preemptive Strike"

• This is the last episode of TNG before its two-hour series finale, "All Good Things...".  It's also one of my favorite late-season episodes, for two primary reasons:
  
• We get more background on the Federation-Cardassian War, as well as the treaty (or treaties) that ended it and the conflict that springs forth into a full-fledged anti-Cardassian resistance by former Federation colonists.  This story arc really sets the stage for many of the more excited episodes of the earlier seasons of DS9 (before the Dominion War story arc kicks into high gear).  And as I mentioned in a previous post, the history and political drama along the Federation-Cardassian border is a favorite topic of mine.
  
• Ensign Lt. Ro Laren.  'Nuff said.
  
  
  
• Lt. Ro enjoys welcome home parties about as much as Lt. Worf, it would seem.
• Starfleet's Advanced Tactical Training, with its 50% wash-out rate, would seem to place it in the "special operations" category (if we use modern-day equivalencies, which may or may not be apt).
• "Hey Ensign Gates, I know you've been a really awesome helm officer for like two seasons...but get up and move out of the way.  Our favorite ne'er-do-well is home."
• "Sir, sensors indicate that the attacking vessels are...Federation ships."
  
  Well, that's going to complicate things.
• I believe the Maquis attack on the Cardassian Galor-class ship early in this episode is the first on-screen appearance of a new type of small, auxiliary craft used by the Federation.  It's sometimes called the Peregrine class, although to my knowledge that name never actually appears in a canon source.
  
  
  
  (image courtesy of Ex Astris Scientia)
  
  They're described here as small courier vessels that have been modified with offensive capabilities by the Maquis.  These are used extensively by the Maquis, although later on DS9 we see them deployed in large fighter-style formations by Starfleet itself during the Dominion War.
  
  There's some debate about to which ship style the name "Peregrine" actually belongs, and as usual the outstanding Trek website Ex Astris Scientia has a great article on it for all of your geeking-out enjoyment.
• Mixed in with the Federation "couriers" is another small ship, unidentified in this scene but which we'll later hear described as a "Bajoran raider".  There's another type called a Bajoran "assault ship" that fits the bill, too.
• Hey kids, it's Gul Evek!
• Hey kids, it's Admiral Nechayev!
• Lt. Ro describes an instructor she had at Advanced Tactical Training--a lieutenant commander--who left Starfleet to join the Maquis.  It's never established on-screen, but there were apparently tentative plans to later identify this instructor as none other than Chakotay himself.
• All undercover missions start in a seedy bar.  All of them.
• Hasperat:  THE SPACE BURRITO!
• This is also, I believe, the first mention of "biogenic weapons"--a broad classification of biological and chemical weapons.  It was probably originally intended to be a generic futuristic equivalent of modern day bio-weapons, but over time (especially on DS9) the term was applied to weaponized organisms and deadly chemical compounds alike.
• "No yeah, I can totally break into the Federation flagship and steal you some Band-aids.  No problem."
• The ship that Ro and Kalita take to "steal" medical supplies from the Enterprise-D is slightly larger than the single-person Peregrine-class couriers/fighters.  Sometimes called a "Maquis raider" or "Maquis fighter", its own size and designation (along with what--if any--overlap it has with the "Peregrine") is discussed in the EAS article that I linked above.
• "Now we know what they mean by 'advanced' tactical training."
• Okay, so now sympathetic old Macias is tapping into Ro's daddy issues.  Well, if a phrase as banal as "daddy issues" can apply to "saw her father tortured and murdered in front of her eyes when she was a small child".
  
  Oh, and then watching a bunch of Cardassians murder the old man who was rapidly becoming her paternal substitute.  There's that, too.
  
  Screw it, I want to join the Maquis too now.
• "When...an old fighter...like me...dies...someone always...steps forward...to take his plaaaaaaace...."
  
  Well, yeah.  That seals it.  She's never going back to Starfleet.  We'll never hear from her again either, but she's definitely never going back to Starfleet.
• "Okay, and now you need to snuggle with Captain Picard for a minute."
• "I feel it necessary to have Commander Riker go back with you."
  
  Ouch.
• "So long, Ro.  Take care of yourself."
  
  Well, Riker's taking it pretty well at least.
• That look on Picard's face at the end.  Yikes.

TNG S07E22, S07E23

In this installment:
(viewed Monday, May 19th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E22 - "Bloodlines"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E23 - "Emergence"

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"Bloodlines"

• Apparently one does not simply hail Captain Jean-Luc Picard by name.  That's completely off-sides.
• Damon Bok is played by a different actor in this episode (Lee Arenberg) than the first time we see him, in S1's "The Battle" (then played by Frank Corsentino).
  
  Both men are veteran Star Trek actors, and Lee Arenberg appears as recently as the earlier S7 episode "Forces Of Nature".
• Bok's accusation that Picard killed his son stems from an incident when Picard commanded USS Stargazer and destroyed an attacking Ferengi ship.
• Jason Vigo?  Hopefully he's not from Carpathia.
  
  
  
  
• Apparently 24th Century military personnel aren't a lot better about using birth control when on shore leave than 20th & 21st Century military personnel :P
• Given the kinds of detail that sensors in a tricorder can generally gather about biological material, I'm a little bit surprised that Dr. Crusher has to actually extract a DNA sample to do the paternity test.
• Your kid thinks your hobby is boring.  Bummer.
• It's good to know that you can buy your way out of a Ferengi prison...
• "But where are you from?"
  
  "I was born on Betazed."
  
  "Do all the women there have eyes like yours?"
  
  You mean black and soulless?  Yes, yes they do.  But so do the men.
• Careful hitting on Counselor Troi, buddy.  Most men in the 24th Century might be pretty enlightened and not getting into the whole hyper-macho, overprotective thing...but her ex is the quasi-Neaderthal first officer of the Federation flagship and the guy she's currently (maybe?) dating is its grumpy Klingon security officer.  I don't think you could count on either of those dudes to be very understanding.
• Speaking of which, I bet "SECURITY TO CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS IMMEDIATELY" is one sure-fire way to get the chief of security out of bed.
• Oh, your kid thinks you're boring, tried to hit on your pet empath and has a criminal record.  Bummer.
• The whole concept of B'Zal seems a little too complicated for the Ferengi :P
• Forrester-Trent Syndrome.  It's like the Trek writers are just trying to give me awesome names for prog rock bands.
• "In order to transport matter through subspace, you have to put it into quantum flux. It's very unstable."
  
  Well, don't tell that to Other Scotty.
• Miranda Vigo, Captain Picard's one-time love interest and mother of Jason, went to Camor V to help the orphans there from the long and destructive Federation-Cardassian War.
  
  This little bread crumb of a story and all of the other ones sprinkled throughout TNG/DS9, which of course leads up to a second and even more destructive war with the Cardassians and their Dominion overlords (and briefly the Breen), always makes me curious.
  
  I'm sure there are some Trek novels out there that cover this period in Federation history, but I'd definitely watch a well-made fan film about it.
• "One thing's for sure:  You'll never look at your hairline the same way again."
• The profit motive at the core of most Ferengi personalities really makes it difficult to keep a revenge-focused rogue crew together, I guess.

---

"Emergence"

• Well, at least this episode isn't about someone's mother/father/brother/son.  I really had no awareness of how many family-oriented episodes they chucked into the last season of TNG before I watched them all in a row like this.
• More Picard and Data on the holodeck, rehearsing Shakespeare?  Why not?
• "So how did your Captain and Second Officer die, again?"
  
  "They were...run over by a train."
• An emergency core shutdown leaves the ship without warp drive for a week?  It's surely not as severe as an actual warp core ejection (which never seems to work anyway), so I wonder what it involves.  I suppose if they inject some kind of inert material into the core to stop the matter/anti-matter reaction, it might gum things up for a while.
• Theta flux distortion:  Again, the writers are spot-on with the prog rock band names.
• "So, do you guys think we should do one more holodeck-run-amok episode before we wrap up the series?"
  
  "Yeah, let's get one more in before we call it quits."
•  The actor who plays the Conductor on the Orient Express holodeck program is David Huddleston. 
  
  Mr. Huddleston has had a long and prolific acting career, but most people my age will recognize him primarily as the "other" Jeffrey Lebowski in The Big Lebowski.
• "Unlikely as it may sound, I believe the Enterprise may be forming an intelligence."
  
  What do you mean "unlikely"?  We've seen everything conceivable become sentient on this show.  The ship's computer makes perfect sense :P
• You guys didn't think to gin up some tickets?
  
  
  
  
• Well, who among us hasn't wanted to throw a pile of bricks at Counselor Troi from time to time?
• Oh, now you bring tickets!
• "Well, I could use a pair of strong arms in the engine room.  Might help us get back on schedule."
  
  "Why don't you go with him, Worf.  We'll see what we can do here."
  
  The look on Worf's face at this point practically screams "YOU KNOW, THE ANDROID ACTUALLY HAS STRONGER ARMS THAN I DO."
• Every time someone says "Vertiform City", I subconsciously repeat it in the incredulous tone used by the cowboys in the old Pace salsa ads when they said "New York City!"
  
  
  
  
• Vertion particles:  It wouldn't be a late-season TNG episode if we didn't have a "particle of the week" :)
• A brand new type of intelligence that springs forth from the ship's computer and then goes off into space to do whatever?  Yeah, no need to follow up on that at all.

TNG S07E21

In this installment:
(viewed Wednesday, May 14th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E21 - "Firstborn"

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"Firstborn"

• I actually really like Worf's (and later Worf's and Dax's) more Klingon-centric episodes of TNG/DS9.  I think they helped to flesh out a culture that was pretty two-dimensional for all of TOS and most of the TOS-era films (saving perhaps ST6, which of course was made after TNG had started the "fleshing out" process).
• I do not, however, care much for Alexander-centric episodes (although the DS9 episode where he's older and joins the KDF is kind of a guilty pleasure for me). 
  
  My point is that this episode is always kind of a wash for me :P
• If your friend's dad is either a Starfleet officer, a starship's security chief or its chief tactical officer, or a certified Klingon warrior with an established kill record...you don't want to hit that guy with a water balloon.
  
  If your friend's dad is all of the above?  You really don't want to hit that guy with a water balloon.
• "Mother said I didn't have to do any of this Klingon stuff if I didn't want to!"
• Captain Picard, in typical Arbiter of Succession style, knows his Klingon holidays backwards and forwards.
• This Kot'baval Festival seems like all of the best parts of a modern renaissance fair rolled into one event.  There are just like, bat'leths all over the place though.  Probably a lot of injuries, especially once the bloodwine starts flowing.
  
  (Note to self:  Do not play with bat'leth while drunk.)
  
  (Note to everyone else:  Yes, I have a bat'leth.  It was a gift.  Don't judge me.)
  
  
  
• I bet Klingon muggings are several orders of magnitude more violent than your garden variety human muggings.
• K'mtar, the gin'tak (adviser/bodyguard) to the House of Mogh, is played by veteran Trek actor James Sloyan.  You probably remember him best as Romulan Admiral Jarok, from the S3 episode "The Defector", although he will also appear later on DS9 and VOY.
  
  He also happens to be a native of my hometown, Indianapolis.
• I like how they call up Deep Space 9 to talk to them about the whereabouts of the Duras Sisters, and Quark's the one who answers the phone.
• Dude, K'mtar will totally call Klingon child protective services on you.
• Those pesky Yridians, again.
• Somebody slept with Lursa?  The ugly Duras Sister?
• "I am your son!  I am Alexander!"
  
  He says that like it's gong to make Worf want to hit him less.
• "It's okay, son.  I love you even though you're a weird little peacenik."

TNG S07E20

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, May 13th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E20 - "Journey's End"

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"Journey's End"

• Before I even get started with this episode, I'll admit right out of the gate:  I don't hate this episode the way a lot of fans seem to hate it.  Maybe it's because I never disliked Wesley Crusher as much as other fans (although I acknowledge that he could be irritating from time to time), or because--in the grand scheme of "scraping the bottom of the barrel for story lines" they were doing for parts of S7--this one ain't that bad.
  
  But it's been a couple of years since I've watched it, and it's been more than a decade since I've watched it in the broader context of also viewing the rest of the season (and the series, and the TNG films to follow).  So my opinion of it may change on this viewing.
• I know I've said it before:  But Admiral Nechayev is never, ever, ever good news.  Episodes that start with "...so we stopped by here and/or rendezvoused with this ship to talk to an admiral" usually end in trouble, but Nechayev is a friggin' harbinger of doom.
• "There comes a time in every young man's life when he doesn't want to stay with his poor, senile mother."
  
  Yeah.  Plus, it's super creepy.  Wesley's like...18 at this point.  And those quarters, while spacious and luxurious by the standards of any other starship, don't have a lot of separate bedrooms and bathrooms and doors that you can close and stuff.
  
  Kid needs his own quarters, Dr. Mom.
• The negotiations described to Captain Picard by Admiral Nechayev are the legal basis for the Demilitarized Zone between the United Federation of Planets and the Cardassian Union.  The fact that it results in some former Federation colonies ending up on the Cardassian side of the border (and vice versa) fuels the growth of the Maquis--as we will find out in a few episodes, and in much more detail on DS9.
• Although I do generally like this episode, I agree with the criticism that making the group of colonists to be relocated literally Native Americas was...a bit too club-you-over-the-head obvious.
• "You've only got one microfusion inter-relay in there?  Your converter interface will never hold up."
  
  "Hey, I ran these diagnostics myself.  This little baby will withstand over 500 Cochranes of warp field stress."
  
  "I don't think so.  You'd better put a second phase inverter in there.  Look at your subprocessor matrix!  It needs an overhaul!"
  
  "Well that may be your opinion, cadet.  But I stand by my work."
  
  "Read the latest paper by Doctor Vassbinder.  He has brilliant new theories on warp propulsion inter-relays.  He'd say all this stuff is obsolete."
  
  "I don't know what's gotten into you, Wes."
  
  "Look, do you want my help or not?"
  
  "With this kind of an attitude?  Absolutely not.  You're dismissed."
  
  So, okay.  I guess Wes did turn into kind of a d*ck at Starfleet Academy.  I know that we find out later that his bad attitude is just a manifestation of his doubts about his future...but come on, man.  Don't be mean to Geordi.  Nobody likes it when people are mean to Geordi.
• The leader of the Native American village on Dorvan V, Anthwara, is played by Ned Romero.  He appears two other times in Trek--once as the Klingon leader Krell in the TOS episode "A Private Little War", and again as Chakotay's grandfather in the VOY episode "The Fight".
  
  In real life, Romero is a member of the Chitimacha tribe of present-day Louisiana.
• Lakanta, at least before we learn his true identity, is admittedly a pretty cheesy implementation of an old Hollywood stereotype--the mystical Indian who guides the white man to his destiny.
• "Are you familiar with the Pueblo revolt of 1680?"
  
  "I am."
  
  Wait, Troi knows a history thing that Picard doesn't?  O_o
• "The name of one of the soldiers was Javier Maribona...Picard."
  Okay, hang on.  Are the Picards from France, or are they from Spain?  And the writers couldn't find a incident of some French guy slaughtering Native Americans?  I'm pretty sure all of the Europeans got in on that one.
• Leave it to the Cardassians to show up early.  What a bunch of a**holes.
  
  And we'll see Gul Evek again.  He's sort of the king of the early Cardassian a**holes on Star Trek.
• "This is the habak; the focal point of our lives.  Strangers are not welcome here."
  
  Yeah, well...it's kind of a dump.
• The vision of Wesley's father wears the "interim" Starfleet uniform seen before in flashbacks of Picard's early career and--most notably--worn by the members of the crew of the Enterprise-C.  We've seen Lt. Cmdr. Jack Crusher wear this same variant of the uniform in his holodeck message to Wesley, seen in the S4 episode "Family".
  
  
  
  
  It features the maroon tunic of the uniforms worn for most of the films with the TOS crew (ST2-ST6), minus the underlying turtleneck and the black belt around the waist.  At some point, the elongated Starfleet insignia on the chest was replaced with a TNG-style comm badge as well.
  
  It appears to have been the standard Starfleet uniform just prior to the adoption of the early collar-less "Type A" jumpsuits worn during the first season of TNG.
• "Do you know what they're trying to do?  They're preparing to beam you away and take you to their ship.  You're not going to let them do that, are you?"
  
  Wow.  Not helping, Wes.
• FAKE INDIAN, BRO.
• So, this episode is the last appearance of Wesley Crusher--aside from an brief cameo in Nemesis (most of which was left on the cutting room floor).  It's obvious that, by the time of that film, Wesley has finished Starfleet Academy and in the production notes for the movie he's listed as a lieutenant, junior grade.
  
  But he was supposed to travel the galaxy (and beyond) with the Traveler, learn about other planes of existence, study ways of combining mater and energy and thought, etc.  Did any of that happen?  Did he go "find himself" for a year or two an then give up?
  
  Is Wesley Crusher the human version of the Great Experiment--appearing in later iterations of Trek but the fate of his "special nature" never explained?

TNG S07E18 & S07E19

In this installment:
(viewed Monday, May 12th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E18 - "Eye Of The Beholder"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S07E19 - "Genesis"

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"Eye Of The Beholder"

• How is there not a door in between the little control room at the head of the nacelle and the freaking plasma stream?  I mean, there probably is one there that Lt. Kwan opened before Riker and Worf arrive on the scene...but shouldn't that kind of thing require a couple of people's authorization codes or something? 
  
  Just like the ever-present plasma burn (as a result of powering the whole ship on crazily-dangerous high-energy plasma), this is just further evidence that there must be no OSHA in the 24th Century :P
• Following Lt. Kwan's unfortunate suicide, Geordi informs Captain Picard that they'll be able to resume their mission to respond to a medical crisis on Barson II "within the hour".  Picard informs him that the situation there is so dire that Starfleet has authorized them to exceed the warp speed limitation imposed after the events of "Force Of Nature".
• Data's conversation with Geordi about suicide is a great example of the kind of good dialog we get from the writers between those two characters in the last couple of seasons of the show, as their friendship deepens and becomes a more important story point.
• Lt. Kwan was a human/Napean hybrid.  This is the first time that Napeans appear in Star Trek, although they will pop up in the background once or twice on DS9.
• It's nice to know that they at least need the Captain's authorization to access someone's personal log.  Given that Starfleet is a quasi-military organization, one would not expect the same levels of privacy as in civilian life (just as members of the US Armed Forces enjoy some rights provided by the US Constitution, but waive many of them in deference to the Uniform Code of Military Justice).  But even some small measure of privacy, violable only with the express authorization of one's commanding officer, is A Good Thing™.
• A little bit like "Lower Decks", this episode is neat because it shows us life in the parts of this massive flying city called the Enterprise-D that aren't the central hubs like the bridge, sickbay or Ten Forward.  The nacelle tube? Yep, that's a posting.  And people actually feel lucky to get it.
• "He used to look at me and know exactly what I was feeling.  I always loved that about him."
  
  "Well, Napeans are partially empathic.  He may have inherited some of his mother's abilities."
  
  Way to ruin the special bond poor Maddy felt like she had with her now-dead boyfriend, Troi.
• Speaking of whom--and I hate to be crass here--but Ensign Calloway?  Smokin' hot.  I would totally plan my next shore leave with her, and absolutely not kill myself in a plasma stream if I were dating her.  Just sayin'.
  
  
  
  "Hello, Ensign Adorable."
  
  

  The actress who played her, Johanna McCloy, is now an advocate for soy weiners.  True story.
• "It's not like Dan to take his own life."
  
  I hate to get all gloomy and real here for a second, but typically speaking?  It's not "like" someone to take their own life...right up until they do it.
• Lt. Kwan, before being posted to the Enterprise-D, was part of the (presumably huge) crew that helped build her at the Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards, located both in orbit around and on the surface of Mars.  They're one of the largest--if not the largest--Starfleet ship construction and repair facilities in the Federation, possibly second only to San Francisco Fleet Yards on Earth.
• Troi has elevated levels of psilosynine again.  Someone get her a blankie.
• Hey, Worf?  When Troi describes "hearing" her grandfather's voice when she goes back home to Betazed and sits by the fire, I don't think she's talking about the sort of "seeking visions in fire" you're talking about.
• William T. Riker:  Always buyin' fruity drinks for the ladies.
• "Lieutenant Corell seems to be enjoying your company."
  
  "I'd like to think so."
  
  "Are you...involved with her?"
  
  "I'm not sure yet.  Why, are you interested in her?"
  
  "No.  But if I were, I would of course discuss the situation with you first."
  
  AWKWARD.
• Oh hey, there totally is a door.  But apparently you've just got to hit a button to open it up.  Again, clearly no OSHA :P
• The Lifetime movie of the week based on the events in this episode is called Love and Murder at Utopia Planitia.
• "There was a tool crate on the floor.  It was labeled 'Utopia Planitia'."
  
  "The shipyard where the Enterprise was built."
  
  Yes, Data.  I'm sure Captain Picard knows where the ship he's been commanding for seven years was built.
• Walter Pierce?  That's a sketchy name if I've ever heard one.
• "Lieutenant, are you aware that I can sense when someone's telling the truth?"
  
  "I've heard that."
  
  <lawandorder>
  DUN DUN
  </lawandorder>
• "Perhaps we should continue this in the morning."
  
  "Yes, it is late."
  
  "And you must be tired."
  
  "Yes."
  
  "So, I'll...say good night."
  
  WORFKISS
• Worf's kisses have just got to be all teeth and beard.  Like kissing a wild boar or an Airedale Terrier.
• "Why didn't we do this a long time ago?"
  
  "Because your ex-boyfriend is my boss.  And your boss, for that matter."
• Oh, don't be jealous of Ensign Adorable Calloway, Counselor.  It's very unbecoming.
• I do appreciate the fact that, in the later seasons of TNG, they mostly got Troi out of her awful unitards and into a regulation Starfleet uniform most of the time.  But she still likes to put them back on when she's off duty, and they're just as ugly in S7 as they were in earlier seasons :P
  
  
  
• You need to have the Captain's authorization to read someone's personal logs, but apparently you can just barge into someone's quarters whenever you want.
• "I can't believe that everything I experienced happened in just those few seconds."
  
  Yep.  Including your little tryst with Worf.  So he's made out with you in an alternate timeline, you've made out with him in a telepathic flashback. 
  
  Just get on with it already, so he can break up with you and be ready to meet his actual soulmate.

---

"Genesis"

• So, at what point does Cmdr. Riker's incessant fraternizing with officers under his command become an issue?  I know Starfleet doesn't have rules about it, but in just the previous episode he's schmoozing Lt. Corell and then in this episode he's rolling around in the Cyprion cactus with one of the ship's new tactical officers.  I mean, have some sense of propriety dude.  You're the first officer.
• Yay!  Lt. Barclay is back!
• And if something is called "Terellian Death Syndrome", I feel like they're not even trying to not scare people who catch it at that point.  It would be like if pneumonia was called "Drowning Lung Syndrome".
• Dr. Crusher, just jacking around with t-cells like it's no big deal.
  
  NO WAY THAT ONE'S GOING TO BITE US IN THE BUTT.
• No one cares about your cat or her kittens, Data.  In fact, who let two cats on board without having the spayed and/or neutered?  BOB BARKER WOULD BE DISPLEASED.
• No one cares about your baby either, Ogawa.  Save it for your weekly girl talk with Crusher.
• During the tests of their new tactical systems, Worf reports that the explosive yield of their new photon torpedoes has been increased by 11%.
  
  I don't want to say "I told you so", but this does lend at least some credence to my conjecture (see my post on the episode "Parallels") that the yield of 24th Century photon torpedoes is probably much greater than that of 23rd Century photon torpedoes, given that this probably isn't the first boost they've received ;)
• Seriously, Worf?  A torpedo veered off-course?  A malfunction the guidance system that you tweaked?
  
  Damn it, man.  YOU HAD ONE JOB.
• "Captain, the shuttle pilot who's on duty is Lt. Hayes."
  
  "I happen to be a reasonably qualified pilot, Number One.  Besides, these tests hardly require the captain's personal attention."
  
  Also, how else are they going to get him and Data off the ship so you guys can--quite literally--go apesh*t?
• Barclay is the only crew member that Spot likes?  I buy it.  He puts off kind of a crazy cat guy vibe.
• "I'm curious sir, who's the father?"
  
  "I am not sure.  Spot has escaped from my quarters on several occasions, and there are twelve male felines on board."
  
  TWELVE?!?  They've officially taken the "bring your family to the stars" thing too far.  I hope Dr. Crusher is all stocked up on loratadine.
• "DO NOT APPROACH ME UNANNOUNCED.  ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M EATING."
  
  
  
• Seriously, though?  Before we really get into it, let me just say that this is one of my favorite late-season episodes.  Devolving Worf and devolving Riker are like...the greatest things ever.
• Twitchy Barclay is pretty great, too.
• It's not generally considered polite to bite just anyone on the cheek before you mate with them, Worf.  You've gotta ask before you go around biting people.  Safe and consensual, dude.  Safe and consensual.
• Spitting cobras are for sissies.  It's all about the spitting Klingon.
• I've got to wonder if the writers ginned up this episode so the actors would get a chance to play up to their characters' stereotypes:  Worf the brute, Riker the caveman, Barclay the neurotic, Troi the...moist?
• This is the second time in two seasons that Captain Picard has left the ship on an auxiliary craft and come back to find it all jacked up ("Timescape").  At some point, he's going to get paranoid and stop leaving.
• Well, the good news is that now you can just keep Troi in a terrarium.
• "His brain is much smaller, sir.  I do not believe he can comprehend our language."
  
  Are we really that sure he could comprehend it before?  :P
• "Latent Introns" = great band name
• Data surmises that Riker is devolving into some form of australopithecine, a group of related pre-human hominid species that lived between 3.9 and 1.2 million years ago.
• And Captain Picard is going to turn into a pygmy marmoset :)
• The computer in data's quarters has an independent memory and processing unit from the ship's main computer, presumably so he can play Counterstrike without bringing down the holodecks and whatnot.
• The bad news is that your cat is now an iguana.  The good news is that cats suck, and iguanas are way better.  So...bonus?
• It's not often that I get to use the same bad joke for three graphics out of a single season of a show, so I'm sorry in advance for this, but...
  
  
  
• "So, take this tube of Troi goo and go lure the proto-Klingon away so I can finish my magic vaccine."
  
  "Yep, no problem."
• Gotta climb up and out of the turbolift?  There could be worse times to be devolving into a monkey, I guess.
• When Picard zaps proto-Worf with the electricity from the plasma conduit in the Jeffries tube, I wanted to make a "Don't Tase me, bro!" joke.  As it turns out, there are no good "Don't Tase me, bro!" jokes left.
• "Doctor Crusher has determined that the synthetic t-cell she used to cure Mister Barclay's Urodelan Flu initiated the intron virus which swept through the ship.""And I will never investigate this gross act of incompetence.  Ever."
• "So this is all my fault?"
  
  "No.  In a way, it's mine."
  
  In a way?  O_o
• "He transformed into a spider and now he has a disease named after him."
  
  "I think I'd better clear my calendar for the next few weeks."