TNG S06E18, S06E19

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, October 29th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E18 - "Starship Mine"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E19 - "Lessons"

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"Starship Mine"

• At the opening of the episode, the Enterprise-D is visiting the Remmler Array.  The array is a spacedock-like facility designed to clear starships of baryon particles, which apparently build up over time as a ship travels at warp speeds.
• When the warp core is about to breach, they can evacuate this sumbitch in about five minutes.  But getting everyone off the ship so they can do a little housekeeping apparently takes like...four days.
• "Counselor Troi is taking care of the situation on Deck 7."
  
  Oh, well as long as Counselor Troi is taking care of it...
• Lt. Commander Data's small talk is the equal of any human small talk I've ever heard in my entire life.
• Commander Hutchenson.  What a d**k.
• "CAPTAIN!"
• We learn from Lt. Commander La Forge that the Enterprise-D has logged more warp hours in five years than most starships do in ten--which makes sense, consider the kind of deep space assignments she's been given.
• "Mr. Worf beat you to it."
• Data's "Hutch" faces are also pretty amazing.
  
  
  
• Hey kids, it's Tim Russ!
• "I'LL GET MY SADDLE!"
• ...and then I'll use my saddle to beat the sh*t out of Tuvok.
• What do you do when you have an overly chatty backwater commander?  Sic your android on him.
• "The baryon sweep uses a high-frequency plasma field.  Your phaser won't work."
  
  You fool!  This is a Federation starship.  It's one giant, flying high-frequency plasma field!
• Shoving the blind guy?  What an a**hole.
• How in the world are you going to conspire to rob a Federation starship without knowing what its command staff looks like?
• "I've adjusted the optical transducer in his VISOR to block out some of the pain."
  
  Wait, you can do that?
• "If the optical transducer were modified, we might be able to generate a hypersonic pulse."
  
  Wait you can do that too?  Is there any thing else about the VISOR that you haven't told us?
• Luring Satler into the jefferies tube so he gets nuked by the baryon sweep?  That may be the most awesome and cold-blooded thing I've ever seen Picard do that wasn't to a Borg drone.
• Yep, go to Worf's quarters.  That place is friggin' covered in weapons.
• Trilithium resin is apparently really, really nasty stuff, huh?
• They did Toy Soldiers in space ("Rascals"), and this episode is apparently Die Hard in space.
• Of course he booby-trapped Ten Forward.  Why would he not bobby-trap Ten Forward?
  
  
  
• And he pulled the pin!  Brilliant!
• "Captain, you keep a saddle on board?"
  
  "Mr. Worf, I'm surprised at you."
  
  "Anyone who is an experienced rider naturally has his own saddle."
  
  "It's perfectly normal."
  
  "It actually came in handy.  I only wish I'd had the opportunity to use it on a horse."

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"Lessons"

• "Stellar cartography has requested a communications blackout while they run an experiment."
  
  Why...why would that ever be necessary?  O_o
• You really, really don't want to be the department that screw's up the Captain's entire morning--he can't talk to an old friend, can't pull some archeology crap, can't even have tea, Earl Grey, hot?  What the deuce?
• "Whoever you are, you've just ruined four hours of work."
  
  Womp womp.
• Oh, look at her hair.  Look at that ridiculous hair.  Of course Picard's going to fall in love with her.
• And she's got strong opinions about tea as well!  It's a match made in ridiculous Euro stereotype heaven :)
• You know, Kirk never had to put up with his crew putting on concerts unless they got punch-drunk and were hanging out with space hippies or something.
• I'm not going to lie.  I've always kind of wanted Picard's tea set.
  
  
  
• "It's a herbal tea blend.  I, um...found it in the replicator files."
  
  Yeah, sure you did.  Didn't want Dr. Crusher to find out about your new girlfriend, eh?  Afraid she'll get all jealous?
• "Stellar cartography isn't everyone's...cup of tea."
  
  
  
  
• ♫ "Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Lt. Commander Nella Daren, sittin' in a tree..." ♪
  
  Nope.  That's not going to work at all.  No flow there.
• And it's also time for another episode of "Spot the Ressikan Flute from That Episode Everyone Loved".
• You're right, Captain!  Lt. Commander Daren's folding piano is really remarkable...in 1993.
• And now "Frère Jacques"?  For real?  It's like they built her for Picard.
• And there's this.  You're welcome.
  
  
• 'You have a mild strain."
  
  "I've been playing the piano a lot.  I guess the Captain and I overdid it last night."
  
  {insert "Playing the piano?  Is that what you call it?" joke here}
• Jealous Dr. Crusher is so cute.  Just friggin' adorable.
• I like how you can just crawl around the maintenance access tunnels on a starship looking for a place to play your piano, and nobody's like "Hey, this is for working on stuff, lady.  Scram."
• Aww, you have to be his secret girlfriend.  He can't have the rest of the crew knowing that he's human.
• "Captain, are you asking my permission?"
• So, Commander Riker's gotta tell the Captain's new girlfriend "no".  That's putting him in kind of an awkward spot.
• "I'll be alright."
  
  Or I'll die and all if this awkwardness about dating one of your subordinates won't be a problem anymore.  You know, either way.
• Setting up thermal deflectors to offset the increased heat?  This is something that your chief engineer didn't think of, but your head of stellar cartography came up with?
• "Dear my girlfriend:  It's imperative that you hold your position and die, because we have to get these people evacuated."
• And then Picard's all like "F**k this flute".  Poor bastard.
• Hey, wait a second.  Lt. Commander Daren lives?  My memory of this episode is that she totally, totally dies.  So I guess they just break up because...stupid.
• "You could always resign your commission.  Stay here with me."
  
  "And you could resign yours.  Come to a starbase with me."
  
  SNAP.