Wednesday, April 24, 2013

'Star Trek: The Motion Picture'

(viewed April 22-24)

 Enterprise emerges from the V'Ger cloud
  • I am, of course, viewing the director's edition of this movie.
  • I love the opening of this film, including the ~3 minute musical prelude at the beginning before the credits even roll.  And then we get our first ears on what would become the most recognizable Star Trek fanfare of all time (in my opinion).  Trekkies of my generation would come to know it as the TNG theme, but this was its coronation.
  • And the Klingons!  They get a much-deserved upgrade in TMP:  Newly-redesigned K't'inga class battlcruisers, and our first glimpses of both the new Klingon makeup (ridged foreheads, ahoy!) and the Klingon language.
  • In what is quite possibly the most-recognized fly-by sequence in cinema history, we get our first look at the refit Constitution class--the Enterprise in drydock.  Even people who don't care for TMP generally regard this scene as spectacular.  If you're a turbo-nerd like myself, you may be interested in the both the production and in-universe details of the refit.  As with most things, Ex Astris Scientia has this covered--"The Enterprise Refit of 2271".
  • "Ensign, the possibilities of us returning from this mission in one piece may have just doubled."
  • After being booted off TOS, Janice Rand makes her reappearance as the transporter operator.
  • In the original theatrical release, the Epsilon IX communications officer says that the V'Ger cloud measures "82 AUs" in diameter, or 7,622,376,196.386 miles.  In the director's edition, this is edited to a much more realistic "2 AUs".
  • For some fans, one of the most jarring aspects of TMP is that we don't have all of the original crew in place at the beginning of the film.  Our three "main heroes"--Kirk, McCoy and Spock--begin the movie not even assigned to the Enterprise.  Kirk's single-minded determination to take back the ship and go meet the V'Ger threat brings the other two into it, but they both need convincing in their own way--McCoy is convinced by Kirk's appeal to their friendship, and Spock initially joins the mission for his own reasons.  But Kirk repeatedly states that he "needs" both of them.  I think this was a clever way to rekindle the relationship between the three men, which would play such an important role over the next five TOS-era films (even if they didn't know at the time that they'd be making those films).
  • All of the spacecraft sequences in this movie are done brilliantly and very deliberately.  It's clear that this is a post-2001, post-Star Wars film, with a focus on realism.  Nowhere is this more evident than in the previously-mentioned "reveal" of the new Enterprise, and in the arrival of Spock's warp shuttle (a sequence I always really liked as a kid...I think I had that Micro Machine).
  • Spock's arrival is a nice turning point in the film.  The mission and the crew clearly become more focused when they're all together, although Spock's demeanor at first is very alien (what with spending the last several months/years trying to purge all remaining emotion from his personality).  The movie can almost be divided into pre- and post-Spock.
  • The initially entry into the V'Ger cloud reminds me of the final sequence on Spaceship Earth.
  • Speaking of which, the director's edition of this movie (or at least the one I'm watching; there may have been multiple "director's editions") features not only restored scenes and little fixes (like "82 AUs" becoming "2 AUs"), but also some new CGI to give more body and variety to the V'Ger cloud, and to V'Ger itself.  It's done very well and blends in very nicely with the original footage.  There was also a CGI version of the Enterprise created to add to these shots, which--to my eyes at least--blends seemlessly with the original motion-controlled footage of the physical model.  I think this speaks to the really great and careful work by both the original and "remaster" effects teams.
  • I always found the Ilia probe to be unbearably creepy when I was a kid.
  • On the other hand, I always loved the thruster suit sequence with Spock.  It was always a scary and exciting part of the movie, all at once.  And again, we see amazing visual effects representing the interior of the V'Ger cloud (or, more accurately, representations of its origin and travels).
  • Don't try to mind-meld with things bigger than a school bus.  Good general rule.
  • "Spock, this 'child' is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth.  Now what do you suggest we do?  Spank it?"
  • "As I was when I came aboard, so is V'Ger now.  Empty, incomplete...searching."  This line from Spock is the punctuation on the rekindling of his relationship with Kirk and McCoy (and the rest of the crew); his re-integration with his human crewmates.
  • In real life, of course, there were only two Voyager probes.  The first of these is the farthest man-made object from Earth, and NASA likes to tell us that it's left the solar system every so often ;)
  • "And a lot of foolish human emotions, right Mr. Spock?"
    "Quite right, Doctor. Unfortunately, it will have to deal with them as well."
    Spock and McCoy giving each other a hard time again?  All is right in the Star Trek universe.
  • "Heading, sir?"
    "Out there...thatta way!"
Summary:   

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a divisive film among casual Trek fans and even among some Trekkies.  I've always liked TMP, although I acknowledge its dramatic differences from almost all of the other films in the franchise.  I think the key difference--and I've mentioned this elsewhere before--is that a lot of Trek falls into the "space adventure" category (which is considered by some people, me included, to be a sub-category of science fiction rather than a separate genre).  But TMP is one of those times where Trek transcends that genre and truly becomes something resembling a hard sci-fi story (the original story by Alan Dean Foster helps bolster its "real" sci-fi credentials).

The director's edition definitely helps with the pacing, though.  The original theatrical release felt stilted in some places and drawn-out in others.

Note:  You might note that I watched this movie over the course of a couple of days.  This should absolutely not be taken as an indication of how much I like the movie.  As I mentioned, I really enjoy TMP.  But whereas I can watch many of the other films at any time, I need to be in the mood to be awed to watch TMP (like 2001: A Space Odyssey).  That's not a mood I'm in very often after I've come home from work.  So I did watch the movie in chunks, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

TAS = Complete! Total progress = ~13%

I've finished watching Star Trek: The Animated Series, and here are my thoughts on that stage of my "mission".  Now it's on to the films!

TAS S02E01, S02E02, S02E03, S02E04, S02E05, S02E06


In this installment:
(viewed Sunday, April 21st)
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E01 - "The Pirates of Orion"
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E02 - "Bem"
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E03 - "The Practical Joker"
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E04 - "Albatross"
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E05 - "How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth"
Star Trek: The Animated Series, S02E06 - "The Counter-Clock Incident"


"The Pirates of Orion"
  • "Blasted Vulcan.  Why could you have red blood, like any normal human?"
    ^^^ Seriously the most racist thing McCoy has ever said :P
  • "OR-ee-ohn"?  Bwahahahaha!
  • Mispronunciations aside, this has been one of the better TAS episodes that I've watched so far.  I don't think I'd seen it before, or if I had it had been a very, very long time.


"Bem"
  • I'm sure there's no connection, but "honorary" Commander Bem refers to himself as "this one" frequently--similar to how the slave-soldiers known as the Unsullied refer to themselves in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series.
  • This episode features the first on-screen mention of Kirk's middle name, Tiberius.  It won't be heard on-screen again until Star Trek VI.


"The Practical Joker"
  • Can't beat an opening like that:  Enterprise is ambushed by three Romulan D7s.
  • I'm not sure why all of the vague "energy clouds" in TAS have firecrackers going off inside of them O_o
  • The rec room shown in this episode appears to have many of the same capabilities as its 24th Century successor, the holodeck.
  • And again, McCoy's telling people to leave him behind in the snow.  What's with this guy?


"Albatross"
  • "Hippocrates would not have approved of lame excuses, Doctor."


"How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth"
  • I like how their first Native American crewman is only there to give them some information about Pre-Columbian deities that aren't even from the lore of his tribe.


"The Counter-Clock Incident"
  • This episode is the source of the commonly-accepted fact that the Enterprise's first captain was Robert April.

          Thursday, April 18, 2013

          TAS S01E13, S01E14, S01E15, S01E16

          Man, the TAS animators loved these purple flying dragon-monster things, didn't they?

          In this installment:
          (viewed Thursday, April 18th)
          Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E13 - "The Slaver Weapon"
          Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E14 - "The Eye of the Beholder"
          Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E15 - "Jihad"
          Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E16 - "The Time Trap"


          "The Slaver Weapon"
          • The Kzinti are buttholes.  That's pretty much my only takeaway from this episode.


          "The Eye of the Beholder"


          "Jihad


          "The Time Trap"
          • SPACE BERMUDA TRIANGLE.
          • This episode features the Bonaventure, which Scotty describes as the "first ship to have warp drive".  Clearly this bit is discarded in favor of other, more established Trek canon.  This is one of many things that was ignored while TAS was considered non-canon, that we now just kind of have to disregard.
             

            Wednesday, April 17, 2013

            TAS S01E11, S01E12

            Well, as long as the ghost mice are okay.

            In this installment:
            (viewed Wednesday, April 17th)
            Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E11 - "The Terratin Incident"
            Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E12 - "The Ambergis Element"


            "The Terratin Incident"
            • Spock:  "This seems weird.  Let me check it out before we go into orbit."

              Kirk:  "Bones, how are the ghost mice?"

              Bones:  "They seem fine."

              Kirk:  "Alright, then...Spock, go ahead and check it out while we're going into orbit against your advice."
            • Everyone's shrinking!  And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaarger!
            • Xenylon - wave of the future!
            • Oh, tiny colonists.  Duh.


            "The Ambergis Element"
            • Aqua-shuttle!
            • I can't command a ship from inside an aquarium!

              Tuesday, April 16, 2013

              New STID trailer; look for my review 5/17-5/18

              Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness...


              There's a lot we've seen before, but there's some new footage there as well.  Most notably, we see what appears to be an adversarial vessel for the first time.  It looks like a larger, more powerful Federation design than the Constitution--which leads to all kinds of speculation.

              Has Starfleet launched a newer, more powerful design so soon after the Constitution (which at the time of the events portrayed in the '09 reboot was both the newest and the most powerful ship class in the fleet, with Enterprise being the flagship of the Federation)?

              Or does John Harrison--whoever he is--have access to this vessel from the future, of all places?  I'd certainly be disappointed to see them employ time travel for two films in a row, but it wouldn't exactly be a Trek first to beat that particular plot device into the ground.

              To me, the ship seems too large, too advanced, too powerful to be a contemporary Starfleet design.  My guess is one of three things:
              • It's not a Federation starship and the footage in the trailer is simply too chaotic to tell for sure.
              • It's a Federation starship from some point in the future (relative to the events of the film).
              • It's a Federation starship, developed covertly by an organization akin to Section 31--separate from the mainstream, open construction of conventional designs like the Enterprise.
              In any case, even if there are going to be nits to pick (and I know there will be), it does look like it will be an exciting movie--just like its predecessor.

              I look forward to seeing it, and you can look for my official review on Ars Technica--the best tech news website on the Internet.  I'll be submitting it to their editors, who have been kind enough to humor me and allow me to write this review for them, either late in the day on May 17th or early on May 18th.

              You can be sure that I'll be promoting it here and all over the place :)

              TAS S01E09, S01E10



              In this installment:
              (viewed Tuesday, April 16th)
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E09 - "Once Upon A Planet"
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E10 - "Mudd's Passion"



              "Once Upon A Planet"
              • I'm not sure why they thought they need a sequel to the abysmal TOS episode "Shore Leave".  Perhaps it's because TAS aired on Saturday mornings and they thought kids might enjoy this better than, let's say, a sequel to "The Enterprise Incident".  I dunno, but it sucked.


              "Mudd's Passion"
              • A sequel to "Shore Leave" and then another episode with Harry freakin' Mudd?   This isn't a good day for me, Trek-wise.

              Monday, April 15, 2013

              TAS S01E07, S01E08



              In this installment:
              (viewed Monday, April 15th)
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E07 - "The Infinite Vulcan"
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E08 - "The Magicks of Megas-Tu"


              "The Infinite Vulcan"
              • "Now just a minute.  I can't let you...whatever you are...inject him with some alien...drew drop!"
              • TAS writers:  "Hey, what happens if we have a race of intelligent asparagus?  And they...they have these flying attack things--sort of like a pterodactyl, squid and eggplant all got busy and we're not sure who the father is."
              • Dr. Keniclius is our second reference in Trek to the Eugenics Wars, after the infamous Khan.
              • Like so much of what we see in TOS and TAS, it's very odd that we never revisit a planet with intelligent plant life, a giant human geneticist and a huge Mr. Spock.
              • "Mr. Sulu, you're the most scrutable man I know."  :suluwink:


              "The Magicks of Megas-Tu"
              • The cosmology in the opening of this episode is pretty laughable, but you can hardly condemn this episode for poor science.  While much of Star Trek actually makes an attempt to employ scientifically-plausible explanations and technology, it does have frequent spots where they turn science on its head for the sake of the story.
              • This is why you don't burn witches.  Sometimes they're aliens.
              • The "histories and records" being tossed about on tapes and punch cards is pretty awesome.
              • This episode features humanity being put on trial by omnipotent beings.  One wonders writers more than a decade later would recall this episode when they wrote about Q's trial of humanity during TNG.

              Sunday, April 14, 2013

              TAS S01E05, S01E06


               (pink tribbles, pink Klingons)

              In this installment:
              (viewed Sunday, April 14th)
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E05 - "More Tribbles, More Troubles"
              Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E06 - "The Survivor"


              "More Tribbles, More Troubles"
              • This episode is the second in what I call the "Tribble Trilogy", the first being TOS's "The Trouble with Tribbles" and the last being DS9's "Trials and Tribble-ations".
              • The design of the robot grain ship would ultimately be adapted for the Atares in the remastered version of the TOS episode "Charlie X".
              • I may be mistaken here, but I believe that TAS is when Federation ship-mounted phasers begin to fire the yellow/red/orange beams that we're used to seeing in later iterations of Trek.  In TOS, of course, they're most often a blue hue.
              • The tribbles and Klingon tunics in this episode are pink because the dude at the animation studio who did the coloring was color blind.  True story.
              • Koloth, like so many other secondary characters in TAS, is voiced by James Doohan.


              "The Survivor
              • Missing space explorer comes aboard, everyone starts taking unexpected naps.
              • Romulan vessels in this episode are once again of the D7 variety.

                Friday, April 12, 2013

                TAS S01E01, S01E02, S01E03, S01E04

                 Here. Never say I didn't give you a picture of Spock hugging a teddy bear.

                In this installment:
                (viewed Friday, April 12th)
                Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E01 - "Beyond the Farthest Star"
                Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E02 - "Yesteryear"
                Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E03 - "One of Our Planets Is Missing"
                Star Trek: The Animated Series, S01E04 - "The Lorelei Signal"


                "Beyond the Farthest Star"
                • The jazzy 70s music is going to take some getting used to...
                • Is it just me...or is Uhura less black in TAS? O_o
                • "Life support belts" = "We didn't want to draw the whole suit"
                • Everyone else:  "This ancient alien ship is amazing!"
                  Bones:  "It gives me the creeps."
                  <3 McCoy
                • Automatic Bridge Defense System?  That, uh, that would've come in handy earlier, I think.
                • OBEY  ME!


                "Yesteryear"
                • This alternate timeline's first officer, Thelin, seems to be the first instance of an Andorian being in Starfleet--which of course they would be able to do, as founding members of the Federation.
                • This bird dude is kind of a drag.
                • "Andorians are not known for their charity."  Dooooooooouche.
                • Spock's bullying by the other Vulcan children is echoed in his treatment in 2009's Star Trek, as does Sarek's admonition that one day Spock will have to choose whether to follow the Vulcan or Human way.
                • I-Chaya? Also kind of a drag. Brave little bastard, though.
                • This episode still bears the hallmark goofiness and lower production quality of TAS (I think it's like what would happen if Star Trek had a baby with Jonny Quest), but we do get some cool backstory on Spock's family.


                "One of Our Planets Is Missing"
                • Spoiler alert:  The cloud is alive.
                • One notable absence from TAS is Chekov, who's replaced by this d-bag named Arex.
                • "We'll use the photon torpedoes to destroy the brain!"
                  Whoah, hey, easy there fella.



                "The Lorelei Signal"
                • Oh, right.  It's a Siren song.  *yawn*
                • On the upside, Uhura gets to take command of the Enterprise.  That's pretty rad.

                      TOS Season 3: Complete; Overall progress: 10%

                      Greetings!  I've completed my view of Star Trek: The Original Series and am moving on to my view of Star Trek: The Animated Series.  Here's a video I made discussing the third season and TOS in general, if you're into that sort of thing.





                      TOS S03E23, S03E24


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed April 11th-12th)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E23 - "All Our Yesterdays"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E24 - "Turnabout Intruder"


                      "All Our Yesterdays"
                      • "Defend yourself!"

                        (Kirk readies his sword)

                        "Uh, dude...you have a phaser."
                      • What is it with McCoy telling people to leave him behind in the snow?  Seriously?
                      • HE'S A WITCH!
                      • "Hey guys, I have an idea.  Instead of using our obviously advanced technology to travel to distant worlds and colonize them, maintaining our currently standard of living, let's just build a dangerously finicky computer to send us to the past instead!"
                      • "I am the real Atoz, you've done away with my replicas."  Hooray, you burned through all of his mirror images!
                      • Spock's clear distaste at having to eat meat in this episode is the first reference that I recall of most Vulcans preferring to practicing vegetarianism of one form or another.


                      "Turnabout Intruder"
                      • "Your world of starship captains doesn't admit women."

                        I know the show as produced in the late 1960s, but Janice Lester's statement is surprising for an organization in the 23rd Century.  Obviously Starfleet reverses this policy by at least 2344, if not sooner.
                      • Dr. Lester (as Captain Kirk) orders a change in course that will delay the Enterprise's rendezvous with the starship Potemkin, another Constitution-class vessel (and one against which the Enterprise faced off in the episode "The Ultimate Computer").
                      • I think they have this room on the Enterprise just for courts martial.
                      • It's stated that violation of General Order 4 is the only offense for which the death penalty still applies in Starfleet, but way back in "The Menagerie" the same is said of General Order 7.
                      • I'm really sorry if anyone is getting tired of me pointing out the sexism rampant in TOS, which most of us accept as a product of the era in which it was produced...but this series finale may be the most sexist episode of the entire series.

                        It's stated that Starfleet either implicitly discourages or explicitly forbids women from serving as captains of starships.  Our antagonist is a poor woman, scorned by Captain Kirk and denied her dream of being a starship captain like one of the boys, goes crazy (you know, like a typical woman) and plots her revenge.  The insult is piled on even further during Spock's court martial when Lester-as-Kirk implies that it's ridiculous to suggest that sweet, fragile little Dr. Lester would be physically capable of overcoming strong, virile Captain Kirk and imposing upon him a personality transfer.

                        It's really pretty bad, even compared with some of the other examples of sexism in TOS.  We take the good with the bad though, and among all the cheesy 1960s schlock of this first iteration of Star Trek, there's a lot of great adventure, character-driven drama and genuine science fiction in there too.  The pervasive sexism must be viewed as an understandable-but-unfortunate blemish on this otherwise groundbreaking piece of sci-fi.


                      ...and that's the end of Star Trek: The Original Series, folks!  Expect a short video recap tomorrow, and the start of my journey through Star Trek: The Animated Series to begin shortly.

                      Thursday, April 11, 2013

                      TOS S03E22


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed Thursday, April 11th)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E22 - "The Savage Curtain"
                      "The Savage Curtain"
                      • "We're being scanned, Captain.  Deep probe...incredibly swift."
                        That's what she said.  Amirite? :rimshot:
                      • Kilted Scotty!
                      • I'm preeeeeetty sure Abraham Lincoln is hitting on Uhura.
                      • Obviously the Excalbians are pulling examples of "good" and "evil" from the perspective of Kirk and Spock.  Genghis Khan, the only real-world member of the "evil" faction, was obviously a much more complex than black-and-white.  And although Yarnek refers to Kahless as being the founder of the Klingon people's "tyrannies", he's obviously regarded by the Klingons as a great hero--as displaced multiple times in later iterations of Trek.
                      • And apparently Kahless was a keen impersonator? O_o

                      Wednesday, April 10, 2013

                      TOS S03E21


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed Wednesday, April 10th)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E21 - "The Cloud Minders"
                      "The Cloud Minders"
                      • "The Disrupters" would be a great band name.
                      • "Droxine", on the other hand, sounds like an allergy medication.

                        (Addendum: It turns out out that Droxine is a real thing, used for the treatment of various thyroid disorders.)
                      • Stupid assassin, interrupting Spock's mojo.
                      • It would be interesting to have a break-down of all Federation members, and their modes of government and general societal structure.  While the UFP has obvious human rights standards, they do seem to have a number of member planets that don't comply with some or all of those standards.  Ardana seems to be one of these.

                      Tuesday, April 9, 2013

                      TOS S03E20


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed Tuesday, April 9th)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E20 - "The Way to Eden"
                      "The Way to Eden"
                      • Tongo Rad is the greatest space hippie name ever.
                      • HERBERT!
                      • Dude's got space-MRSA.
                      • This episode sucks, but Charles Napier's incessant singing is a disconcerting combination of irritating and amusing.
                      • *YAWN* Is this episode over yet?
                      • I'm sorry, did I say SPACE HIPPIES?!?  I meant SPACE CHARLES MANSON.
                      • Planets covered in acid is another GREAT reason to not go barefoot.

                      Monday, April 8, 2013

                      TOS S03E18, S01E19


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed Monday, April 8th)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E18 - "The Lights of Zetar"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E19 - "Requiem for Methuselah"
                      "The Lights of Zetar"
                      • This episode opens with the Enterprise en route to Memory Alpha, "a planetoid set up by the Federation solely as a central library, containing the total cultural history and scientific knowledge of all planetary Federation members".  This is, of course, the namesake of Memory-Alpha.org, one of the best repositories of Trek-related information on the Internet (to which I link quite liberally during the course of this "mission").
                      • Aww, Scotty's in love...
                      • Stop calling her "the girl", dude.  She's a Starfleet officer and a lieutenant at that, no matter how short her skirt is :P
                      "Requiem for Methuselah"
                      • It's interesting that Kirk appears quite willing to use force to get the ryetalyn necessary to treat his crew's Rigelian fever.  In most other episodes, it's implied if not explicitly stated that force can only be used in self-defense--never to force someone to give something up, even if it's something they need.
                      • There's some genuine Abrams-style shaky-cam in this episode, and I noticed some in earlier S3 episodes as well.  In this case, when the camera is showing Rayna playing billiards from above, it shakes around like they had the camera man up on a ladder trying to hold the thing steady.
                      • Are hovering robots ever good news?
                      • Dude's an Immortal, duh.
                      • Love kills androids.  Has anyone told Data?
                      • Whoah, wait.  So not only can Spock do the whole "Remember..." thing, but he can also be all "Forget..."?  O_o

                      Sunday, April 7, 2013

                      TOS S03E13, S03E14, S03E15, S03E16, S03E17


                      In this installment:
                      (viewed April 4-7)
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E13 - "Elaan of Troyius"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E14 - "Whom Gods Destroy"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E15 - "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E16 - "The Mark of Gideon"
                      Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E17 - "That Which Survives"
                      "Elaan of Troyius"
                      • There are really only two notable things about this episode:  Some cool new CGI of the D7 class (especially in the closing battle with the Enterprise), and the crazy amounts of sexism just piled up all over the place.
                      "Whom Gods Destroy"
                      • Trek writers love to have one of the main characters, when introduced to an antagonist, say something about how so-and-so's exploits were "required reading" at Starfleet Academy (or something to that effect).  I believe this is the first time that's done, when Kirk is referring to former Starfleet captain Garth (it's possible that I missed an earlier employment of this narrative mechanism in an earlier TOS episode...but I don't think so).
                      • Apparently Kirk didn't include in his report the fact that Garth learned the secrets of cellular metamorphosis from those kindly folks on Antos IV (right before he tried to wipe them out).  'Cause otherwise, I have to assume that Section 31 would have had some agents with that capability--which in turn would have come in quite handy when the Federation was involved in a death struggle with a race of shapeshifters during the Dominion War.
                      • "Why can't I blow off just one of his ears?"
                      • Hot Kirk-on-Kirk action!  We'll get to see the rematch in The Undiscovered Country
                      "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"
                      "The Mark of Gideon"
                      • HEY WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
                      • Captains Log, Stardate...uh, whatever:  I've materialized on the Enterprise, but everybody else seems to be gone.  Except this hot blonde.  So, you know.  I'm going to work really hard to try and figure out what happened and get back.
                      • Odana's monologue about how horrible it is where she is from, crowded in on all sides by so many people, is pretty much exactly how I feel when I have to go into a shopping mall or department store :P
                      • So...no condoms on Gideon, then?
                      • It's always good news when Spock violates orders.
                      • "Your Excellency, please do not interfere. I already have one serious problem to resolve with upper echelons."  I love it when Spock is unintentionally funny.
                      "That Which Survives"
                      • "Mr. Sulu, if I'd wanted a Russian history lesson I'd have brought along Ensign Chekov."
                      • "Can you give me Warp 8?"
                        "Aye, and maybe a wee bit more.  I'll sit on the warp engines myself and nurse them!"
                        "That position, Mr. Scott, would not only be unavailing but also undignified."

                        Again, unintentionally funny Spock is awesome.
                      • The planet-side story in this episode is a little like a Star Trek version of the show Ghost Hunters, complete with Sulu getting magnetic anomalies on his tricorder and McCoy picking up sudden, brief and powerful life-form readings on his.  I keep expecting one of them to say "Is there anybody here who wants to speak for us?"
                      • In addition to being unintentionally funny, Spock's also kind of a douche in this episode.  He spends most of his time in command of the Enterprise correcting people's estimates and telling them to shut up and get to work, pretty much.

                        Wednesday, April 3, 2013

                        TOS S03E11, S03E12



                        In this installment:
                        (viewed Tuesday & Wednesday, April 2-3)
                        Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E11 - "Wink of an Eye"
                        Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E12 - "The Empath"
                        "Wink of an Eye"
                        • When responding to a distress call on a strange alien planet, and you're taking water samples?  Go ahead and use that opportunity to wash your hands in the local water source and, hey!  While you're in there, you might as well wet your whistle, right?  Let's face it, this redshirt deserved what he got.  I guess it helps that he's not only an idiot, but also a total toolbag.
                        • "What have you done to the transporter, Captain?"
                          "It was working before.  Try it again."
                          -- James T. Kirk, Tech Support
                        • Okay, we need to stall for time while Spock figures this out.  So...sabotage some equipment, and make nice with the pretty alien?  I can do this. -- Kirk, in every episode
                        "The Empath"
                        • Oh, crap.  I remember this episode.  I have no idea how I'll find it this time around, but I remember being bored to tears by it when I watched it in re-runs as a kid.
                        • Okay, yeah.  It's big-headed, douchebag aliens, bad 1960s music and a mime.  I think this is actually my least-favorite TOS episodes.  At least some of the other bad ones are entertaining.  This one is just dull.  I'm just going to go ahead and let it play in the background while I play some Civ2.  I'll check back in with you in...37 minutes.
                        • This empath is stupid.  She and her people both deserve to die :P
                        • Yeah, so...yeah.  I nearly fell asleep during that episode, and I was sitting up at a desk and doing three other things at the same time.

                        Monday, April 1, 2013

                        TOS S03E10



                        In this installment:
                        (viewed Monday, April 1st)
                        Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E10 - "Plato's Stepchildren"
                        "Plato's Stepchildren"
                        • Hey, Platonians.  Pro-tip:  If your eugenics program didn't breed people with superior immune systems, it was failsauce.
                        • If I was still unemployed, I would have spent about four or five hours today just making animated .GIFs from this one episode.

                          (Disclosure:  I didn't make the one above, but only because someone else made it first.)
                        • This another in a long chain of Trek episodes that teach us something important:  When encountering a mentally-superior race of alien beings, your best bet is to just Hulk out and overwhelm them with your rage.
                        • "I'M GONNA CUT THEM.  I'M GONNA CUT THEM!"
                        • Having kironide be a banned substance in the Federation would've been a cool Easter egg for later episodes/series/movies/whatever.
                        • In the famous Trek tradition of using external alien forces to make the characters do things that they didn't have the freedom to just write into the script, the Platonians make Nurse Chapel finally kiss Spock.
                        • Along those same lines, this episode is famous as being the first interracial kiss on network television.  Actually, that's only like...a little bit true.
                        • "I have a little surprise for you".  Bwahahaha, midget joke!  NO.

                        TOS S03E08, S03E09

                        I don't have a wise-cracking caption for this image.  I just think it's cool.

                        In this installment:
                        (viewed Friday, Saturday and Sunday, March 29-31)
                        Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E08 - "For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky"
                        Star Trek: The Original Series, S03E09 - "The Tholian Web"
                        "For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky"
                        "The Tholian Web"
                        • This episode features another Constitution-class starship, USS Defiant.  She will show up again in the ENT episode "In a Mirror, Darkly".
                        • Oh, I see.  When the Vulcan dies, Scotty will get out the great pipes.  Y U NO PLAY PIPES FOR KIRK?!?
                        • I realize that they needed to build up the tension between McCoy and Spock so that it could be defused by Kirk's "final orders", and the comaraderie between the two by the end of the episode goes a long way toward strengthening that leg of the Triumvirate.  That said, McCoy really comes off like a butthole here.
                        • I hear the US government is experimenting with diluting VX with alcohol to use as a sedative, a la Theragen.
                        • Although it's well-established in the films that Spock is perfectly capable of and willing to stretch the truth when it's necessary, I think this is the first occasion where he explicitly lies for a non-tactical reason--namely when he and McCoy tell Kirk that they never had a chance to watch Kirk's "last orders" tape.