TNG S06E18, S06E19

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, October 29th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E18 - "Starship Mine"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E19 - "Lessons"

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"Starship Mine"

• At the opening of the episode, the Enterprise-D is visiting the Remmler Array.  The array is a spacedock-like facility designed to clear starships of baryon particles, which apparently build up over time as a ship travels at warp speeds.
• When the warp core is about to breach, they can evacuate this sumbitch in about five minutes.  But getting everyone off the ship so they can do a little housekeeping apparently takes like...four days.
• "Counselor Troi is taking care of the situation on Deck 7."
  
  Oh, well as long as Counselor Troi is taking care of it...
• Lt. Commander Data's small talk is the equal of any human small talk I've ever heard in my entire life.
• Commander Hutchenson.  What a d**k.
• "CAPTAIN!"
• We learn from Lt. Commander La Forge that the Enterprise-D has logged more warp hours in five years than most starships do in ten--which makes sense, consider the kind of deep space assignments she's been given.
• "Mr. Worf beat you to it."
• Data's "Hutch" faces are also pretty amazing.
  
  
  
• Hey kids, it's Tim Russ!
• "I'LL GET MY SADDLE!"
• ...and then I'll use my saddle to beat the sh*t out of Tuvok.
• What do you do when you have an overly chatty backwater commander?  Sic your android on him.
• "The baryon sweep uses a high-frequency plasma field.  Your phaser won't work."
  
  You fool!  This is a Federation starship.  It's one giant, flying high-frequency plasma field!
• Shoving the blind guy?  What an a**hole.
• How in the world are you going to conspire to rob a Federation starship without knowing what its command staff looks like?
• "I've adjusted the optical transducer in his VISOR to block out some of the pain."
  
  Wait, you can do that?
• "If the optical transducer were modified, we might be able to generate a hypersonic pulse."
  
  Wait you can do that too?  Is there any thing else about the VISOR that you haven't told us?
• Luring Satler into the jefferies tube so he gets nuked by the baryon sweep?  That may be the most awesome and cold-blooded thing I've ever seen Picard do that wasn't to a Borg drone.
• Yep, go to Worf's quarters.  That place is friggin' covered in weapons.
• Trilithium resin is apparently really, really nasty stuff, huh?
• They did Toy Soldiers in space ("Rascals"), and this episode is apparently Die Hard in space.
• Of course he booby-trapped Ten Forward.  Why would he not bobby-trap Ten Forward?
  
  
  
• And he pulled the pin!  Brilliant!
• "Captain, you keep a saddle on board?"
  
  "Mr. Worf, I'm surprised at you."
  
  "Anyone who is an experienced rider naturally has his own saddle."
  
  "It's perfectly normal."
  
  "It actually came in handy.  I only wish I'd had the opportunity to use it on a horse."

---

"Lessons"

• "Stellar cartography has requested a communications blackout while they run an experiment."
  
  Why...why would that ever be necessary?  O_o
• You really, really don't want to be the department that screw's up the Captain's entire morning--he can't talk to an old friend, can't pull some archeology crap, can't even have tea, Earl Grey, hot?  What the deuce?
• "Whoever you are, you've just ruined four hours of work."
  
  Womp womp.
• Oh, look at her hair.  Look at that ridiculous hair.  Of course Picard's going to fall in love with her.
• And she's got strong opinions about tea as well!  It's a match made in ridiculous Euro stereotype heaven :)
• You know, Kirk never had to put up with his crew putting on concerts unless they got punch-drunk and were hanging out with space hippies or something.
• I'm not going to lie.  I've always kind of wanted Picard's tea set.
  
  
  
• "It's a herbal tea blend.  I, um...found it in the replicator files."
  
  Yeah, sure you did.  Didn't want Dr. Crusher to find out about your new girlfriend, eh?  Afraid she'll get all jealous?
• "Stellar cartography isn't everyone's...cup of tea."
  
  
  
  
• ♫ "Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Lt. Commander Nella Daren, sittin' in a tree..." ♪
  
  Nope.  That's not going to work at all.  No flow there.
• And it's also time for another episode of "Spot the Ressikan Flute from That Episode Everyone Loved".
• You're right, Captain!  Lt. Commander Daren's folding piano is really remarkable...in 1993.
• And now "Frère Jacques"?  For real?  It's like they built her for Picard.
• And there's this.  You're welcome.
  
  
• 'You have a mild strain."
  
  "I've been playing the piano a lot.  I guess the Captain and I overdid it last night."
  
  {insert "Playing the piano?  Is that what you call it?" joke here}
• Jealous Dr. Crusher is so cute.  Just friggin' adorable.
• I like how you can just crawl around the maintenance access tunnels on a starship looking for a place to play your piano, and nobody's like "Hey, this is for working on stuff, lady.  Scram."
• Aww, you have to be his secret girlfriend.  He can't have the rest of the crew knowing that he's human.
• "Captain, are you asking my permission?"
• So, Commander Riker's gotta tell the Captain's new girlfriend "no".  That's putting him in kind of an awkward spot.
• "I'll be alright."
  
  Or I'll die and all if this awkwardness about dating one of your subordinates won't be a problem anymore.  You know, either way.
• Setting up thermal deflectors to offset the increased heat?  This is something that your chief engineer didn't think of, but your head of stellar cartography came up with?
• "Dear my girlfriend:  It's imperative that you hold your position and die, because we have to get these people evacuated."
• And then Picard's all like "F**k this flute".  Poor bastard.
• Hey, wait a second.  Lt. Commander Daren lives?  My memory of this episode is that she totally, totally dies.  So I guess they just break up because...stupid.
• "You could always resign your commission.  Stay here with me."
  
  "And you could resign yours.  Come to a starbase with me."
  
  SNAP.

TNG S06E16-17

In this installment:
(viewed Sunday, October 20th)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E16-17 - "Birthright" (Parts 1 & 2)

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"Birthright" (Parts One & Two)

• This episode opens with the Enterprise-D docked at one of the upper pylons of the space station Deep Space 9, a facility of Cardassian design that was recently ceded to the Bajoran government after the Cardassian withdrawal from Bajor. 
  
  This episode is a reminder to me that I've reached the period of overlap between TNG and DS9.  As a matter of fact, I've been in that period for several episodes now.  The DS9 premiere episode, "Emissary", first aired on January 3rd, 1993.  This was just a couple of weeks after the airing of the second half of the TNG two-parter, "Chain of Command" (which featured Cardassian antagonists).
• I like Dr. Crusher, but after over five seasons of her the entire hyper-feminine, frilly nightgown, "Oh Jean-Luc, you have to check out this relaxation program!" routine is starting to grate on my nerves a little bit.
• Geordi mentions to Worf that an antique shop on the station's promenade supposedly has a plasma coil dating back to the 21st Century.  Assuming this means one of human design (which I guess it might not necessarily mean), then our species apparently adopted the terrifyingly stupid concept of using plasma to conduct energy far earlier than previous thought :P
• "Worf, how can you eat that?  It tastes like liquid polymer."
  
  "Delicious."
• Oh, Dr. Bashir.  A genetically-engineered* genius who doesn't know that he should ask permission before mucking around in the sickbay on a starship.
  
  (* - We don't know this yet.)
• Yridians are one of the ugliest Trek aliens, in my opinion.  And this Jaglom Shrek fellow is no exception, even if he is played by the awesome veteran Trek actor James Cromwell.
• Uh, are you telling this giant Klingon that his daddy surrendered to the Romulans at Khitomer?  That's not going to go over well.  Now he's going to take it out on poor Ensign Lopez.  And on Commander Riker a little bit, but we all know that Riker probably did something to deserve that.  And then he's going to smash his table.
• "Did the table do something wrong?"
• "Data, can I ask you a question?"
  
  "Certainly."
  
  "Does your hair...grow?"
• I completely forgot that this episode's sub-plot is Data's dream sequence involving his father.  This episode had to be a lot of fun for Brent Spiner.
• "Maybe you should approach this from a more human standpoint.  You're right that machines can't have hallucinations.  But then again, most machines can't grow hair."
• "The camp is located on the edge of Romulan space.  It is a dangerous journey."
  
  "It would be more dangerous to refuse."
• I know it's a prison camp, but it's also the 24th Century.  How is it that young women are still bathing in rivers and whatnot?
• Where do you think they put all of Data's paintings?  The Galaxy class is a pretty voluminous ship with lots of storage space, no doubt.  I imagine a cargo bay someplace that's just filled to the rafters with original Datas.
• Data's subconscious (or whatever) is kind of a freaky place.
• "Data...you are the bird!"
  
  <neo>Whoah.</neo>
• "We are not leaving here.  And neither are you."
  
  Yeah, well.  This is a two-parter.  So we'll see about all that.
• So, Worf.  The bad news is that you're a prisoner of the Romulans and these Klingons are all a bunch of whiny little petaQ.  The good news is that the hottie with the teeth seems to be into you.
• Either the Romulan guards didn't check Worf for explosives, or he MacGuyver'd the sh*t out of a Rubick's Cube.
• I may be mistaken, but I believe this is the first time that the iconic spring-loaded Klingon dagger (first seen in The Search For Spock) is identified by name--the D'k tahg.
  
  
  
• Your girlfriend's got pointed ears, yo.
• I know that Klingons and Romulans are implacable enemies--real Israeli/Palestinian-style stuff going on there.  But Worf is kind of a racist.
• It's good to know that, when not needed to slay your enemies, Klingon weapons make pretty good farming implements and toys for adolescents.  Sort of like Jarts on steroids.
• And I'm not sure why they think the little kid who barely knows he's a Klingon is going to be able to stop Worf if he decides to try and escape while they're on this hunt of theirs.  Even with a disruptor or whatever, Worf would take this kid apart.  Giving him a pointy boar-hunting spear or whatever only makes it even easier.  If Worf was prone to trickery, this would be bad news.
• Worf's commando outfit in this episode makes Michael Dorn's legs look unnaturally skinny.
• "No one survived Khitomer."
  
  "I understand."
  

TNG S06E12, S06E13, S06E14, S06E15

In this installment:
(viewed October 13th, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E12 - "Ship In A Bottle"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E13 - "Aquiel"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E14 - "Face Of The Enemy"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E15 - "Tapestry"

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"Ship In A Bottle"

• The opening scene in the holodeck, with Lt. Commander Data as Sherlock Holmes and Lt. Commander La Forge as Dr. Watson?  Yeah, nobody's winning any awards with their British accent in this scene.
• So, your playtime holodeck program isn't working right so you make poor Lt. Barclay fix it?  A guy you didn't even invite to play along.  That's cold-blooded.
• Oh yeah, and don't warn him about those Professor Moriarty files either.  No need for that.
• "Professor Moriarty appeared out of nowhere."
  
  "What?"
  
  "And he wants to talk to the Captain."
  
  "Whoops.  I guess we kind of forgot all about him.  I hope he's not holding a grudge or anything."
• "I think, therefore I am."
  
  Yeah, but...holodeck.  Photons, etc.  What the what?
• I don't remember if they explicitly mention the parallel later on in the episode, but there's a serious Adam and Eve vibe here.  Moriarty is the first of his kind, and he wants a companion.
• "Picard command codes are no longer valid."
  
  Well, that's not good.
• It's stated explicitly in this episode that both the holodeck and the transporter have the ability to transform matter into energy, and back again.
• "Got to wear trousers...the whole time!"
• Have I said before how much I love Lt. Barclay?  I love the dude.  His little head-tilt when Moriarty comes in and kisses the Countess, where he kind of looks like "Aww, shucks...even the holodeck characters get more action than I do" is simultaneously adorable and hurt-y.
• Data's all "Wait just a second...", and then he figures out what Moriarty did.  The smartest dude in Starfleet (probably in the galaxy, not counting beings like the Q), for sure.
  
  Explain to me again why he's not in charge of everything?
• Well, if you're going to get locked into a holodeck trap...I guess you could do worse than getting trapped with Data and Barclay.  If only the "real" La Forge was there too, you'd have the three smartest guys on the ship.
• The wonder of it gets a little lost in the script, but the idea that the Enterprise-D's computer has the power to not only generate an entire world within the holodeck, but to create a holodeck within that holodeck.
  
  It's the ultimate in virtual machines.
• Oh, those Heisenberg compensators!
• "There are force-fields blocking our access to the holodeck.  It will take time to disable them."
  
  "Keep trying."
  
  "Oh, okay.  'Cause me, being an unstoppable Klingon machine made from determination and stubborn pride, had kind of figured on just giving up right here.  But I guess I'll keep going, if you say so."
• Fake shuttlecraft, bro.
• I wonder what happened to Moriarty's cube.  I don't think we ever see it again.  It probably got put on a shelf, and then destroyed when the Enterprise-D is lost in Star Trek:  Generations.

---

"Aquiel"

• Apparently Starfleet doesn't mind if you take your dog with you on assignments to small, deep space communications relay stations?
• As they try to piece together what happened aboard the relay station, Commander Riker asks Dr. Crusher if Lt. Uhnari could have been killed by a Klingon disruptor.
  
  Captain Picard urges caution in jumping to conclusions, stating that there hasn't been a Klingon raid against the Federation in "over seven years".
  
  Given that the First Khitomer Accords were signed in 2293 and the Battle of Narendra III (which solidified the friendship between the Klingon Empire and the Federation) occurred in 2344, one would assume that any more recent raid was unsanctioned.
  
  It was probably by one of those pesky rogue Bird-of-Prey captains with which the Empire has so much trouble :P
• Geordi La Forge:  Turns on include dead, holographic or otherwise unavailable women, and ice coffee.
• This Morag dude sounds like kind of a d*ck.
• "Governor Torak, I apologize.  I can see that you honestly didn't know what happened aboard the station.  I'll just have to take this matter up with Gowron.  I'm really sorry that we bothered you."
  
  "Gowron won't bother with such a minor incident."
  
  "Well, ordinarily he wouldn't.  But of course, I was his Arbiter of Succession.  I'm sure that he will be happy to come here and investigate this matter.  You needn't worry about it any longer."
  
  SNAP.
• This Lt. Rocha dude also sounds like kind of a d*ck.
• Speaking of lieutenants Uhnari and Rocha, why are they both wearing Sciences Division tunics?  Shouldn't technicians aboard a subspace communications relay station be wearing Operations Division tunics?
• Aquiel seems like kind of a whiner.  I can see why Geordi likes her.
• Governor Torak's ship, the IKS Qu'Vat, is one of the imposing Vor'cha-class cruisers that served as the front line combat vessels for the Klingon Defense Force in the latter part of the 24th Century. 
  
  
  
  (image from the Starship Schematics Database)
  
  It wasn't until the larger Negh'Var class was introduced just prior to the Dominion War that the Vor'cha was displaced as the largest and most powerful ships of the Klingon fleet.  Although much like its predecessor, the K't'inga class, huge numbers of Vor'cha-class starships served as the backbone of the Klingon forces during that conflict.
• Lt. Uhnari isn't dead!  Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!
  
  
  
• This week in Geordi La Forge Creepily Violates the Privacy of a Woman...
• Type 2 phaser on a Type 6 shuttlecraft?  That's no good for the defense.
• Evidence tampering?  Also not great for the defense.
• "There's something I want to share something with you."
  
  "What?"
  
  "A way that we can become...more intimate.  My people are partially telepathic.  They use something called the 'canar' to help focus our thoughts.  They also use the canar for a stronger emotional link during love."
  
  
  
• These "coalescent organisms" sound an awful lot like The Thing.
• "I can see you!  Ooooh, and I can...feel you."
  
  Eww.
• And just like in The Thing...IT'S THE FREAKING DOG!
  
  
  
• "Don't be surprised if you see my name on that list."
  
  You're never going to hear from her again, dude.

---

"Face Of The Enemy"

• We learn two very important things (i.e. they overlooked these in the script) about the Romulans right from the opening scene of this episode:
  
  
  1. Apparently their voice recognition software isn't as good as the Federation's.
  2. Apparently they make their officers sleep in those ridiculously pointy uniforms.
• With a lot of plastic surgery and a little bit of luck, Counselor Troi finds herself aboard the D'deridex-class warbird IRW Khazara. 
  
  She is masquerading as Major Rakal, a member of the Tal Shiar, the Romulan Star Empire's primary intelligence organization.
  
  This episode is the first time the Tal Shiar is mentioned by name.
• Subcommander N'Vek is played by Scott MacDonald.  In addition to several other Star Trek roles, I remember him best as a drill instructor in the movie Jarhead.
• Commander Toreth is played by Carolyn Seymour.   She previously played another Romulan officer, subcommander Taris, in the second season episode "Contagion".  She also had other guest roles in Star Trek.
• Ensign DeSeve?  Totally has moobs.
• "Find some civilian clothes.  I don't want to see you in that uniform."
• This episode is replete with references to the Romulan dissident movement and Ambassador Spock's involvement with it, first seen in the two-part episode "Unification".
• This episode also gives us some additional glimpses of the state of the Romulan government and the society it governs, from the complicated relationship between the Tal Shiar and the Romulan military to the existence of "vice proconsuls" (e.g. M'ret) in its highest positions of authority.
• "On Romulus, you learn to not volunteer information."
• Why in the wide galaxy does a ship's counselor have access to the codes required to bypass the gravitic sensor net and other Federation border defenses?
• And apparently anti-protons are a tell-tale residual sign of the use of Romulan disruptors.
• Dressed as a Romulan and yelling may be the most attractive I've ever found Counselor Troi.
• "The effect would only be intermittent.  They might not even detect it."
  
  Oh, they'll detect it.  They've got an android.
• This is the first reference to the Romulan use of a forced quantum singularity to power their warp drives.
• Toward the end of this episode, it takes on a real The Hunt For Red October vibe (RIP Tom Clancy).

---

"Tapestry"

• If you have to return to the ship cradled in the arms of your Klingon security chief like a wounded lamb...that's not a good sign.
• The compressed teryon beam:  One of an entire rainbow of fancifully-named energy weapons that we only see or hear of once or maybe twice in the Star Trek franchise.  This one apparently can screw up someone's artificial organs something fierce.
• Hey kids, it's Q!
• "Q, what is going on here?"
  
  "I told you.  You're dead, this is the afterlife...and I'm God."
  
  "You are not God!"
  
  "Blasphemy!  You're lucky I don't cast you out, or smite you or something."
• Captain Picard's dad seems like a bit of a bastard.
• This episode is pretty gruesome for a pre-DS9 Star Trek script, what with all the stabbing through the chest.
• Although how hardcore is Young Indiana Jones Picard, laughing when he gets stabbed through the heart?
• It's not an exact remake, but this episode is sort of Star Trek's take on It's A Wonderful Life.
• I've always thought that Picard's not-quite-sweetheart at Starfleet Academy, Marta (played by J.C. Brandy), was quite fetching.  I think it's the hair being up and the smirk.
  
  
  
• Q's statement that, should Picard die, they will spend eternity together, is somewhat interesting.  I wonder if Q's intentions remained the same after this incident.  Whenever Picard finally does die, presumably sometime very late in the 24th Century or very early in the 25th Century, does Q sweep in to take him away with him on eternal adventures?
  
  I wonder if there's been a poorly-written Trek novel about that.  Probably so.
• "You never told me you were such a ladies' man."
  
  "I wasn't.  I was a puerile adolescent who allowed himself to be led by his hormones instead of his head."
• The game featured in the bar at Starbase Earhart's Bonestell Recreation Facility is dom-jot, which will be featured again later in DS9 (it's a particular favorite of Jake Sisko and Nog).
• I'm just going to say it, and risk being called a racist:  All Nausicaans are a**holes.
• Ooh, ooh!  This episode is the one where Q (posing as a flower delivery guy), pronounces Picard's name "JOHN LUCK PICKARD".  That's how I say it in my head all of the time, and have ever since I first saw this episode.
• Picard's other Academy friend, Cortan Zweller ("Cory"), is assigned to USS Ajax (NCC-11574).  The Ajax is an Apollo-class starship, and it later serves as part of Picard's blockade during the Klingon Civil War of 2368.
  
  The Apollo class seen on screen in other contexts is an oddly-shaped transport or freighter of a clearly Vulcan design, but I tend to think that USS Ajax was probably not of this type.
  
  There is a non-canon "Apollo" class seen in many Star Trek computer games (e.g. Star Trek:  Legacy).  It's a small, fast, destroyer-like starship that shares design elements with the Miranda, Constellation and refit Constitution classes.  I prefer to pretend that the Ajax was a ship of this type.
  
  
  
  (image from Starship Schematics Database)
• I don't recall if it's been stated in earlier episodes of TNG, but Picard's "Here's to the class of '27" toast nails down the year of his graduation from Starfleet Academy--2327.
• In the "Mr. Picard" version of the present, the Enterprise-D is commanded by Captain Thomas Halliway.  Although we never see him on screen, it's safe to assume that he's a real Starfleet officer in the "normal" timeline.
  
  
  
• Captain Picard's rejection of his "Mr. Picard" existence is a bit insulting to all of the junior officers who make Starfleet hum, running reports and whatnot :P
• And here we have our moral to the story:  Our regrets and mistakes are part of who we are, and if we were able to undo them we wouldn't be the people we are today.
  
  There you have it, kids.  Also:  Stay in school, and stay off drugs.
  

TNG S06E10-11

In this installment:
(viewed October 7th, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E10-11 - "Chain Of Command" (Parts 1 & 2)

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"Chain Of Command" (Parts 1 & 2)

• This episode is a fan favorite, not only because of a certain Internet meme but because it's a truly engaging story and features one of the best dialogs in Star Trek history.
• USS Cairo (NCC-42136) is yet another of the ubiquitous Excelsior-class starships.  The venerable Excelsior design is probably the most widely-produced large spaceframe ever used by Starfleet, serving as one of its primary workhorses for almost a hundred years--from its prototype's launch in 2285 to its widespread service as a frontline combat vessel as late as the Dominion War of 2373-2375.
  
  It also happens to be one of my favorite Star Trek ship designs, from an aesthetic perspective.
  
  
• "I'm afraid there's no time for the usual pleasantries.  I'm here to relieve you of command of the Enterprise."
  
  Is a visit from Vice Admiral Nechayev ever good news?
• Aww, no captain's chair for Commander Riker.  Sad trombone.
  
  I mean, sure.  If Captain Picard gets himself kidnapped by the Borg and there's nobody else to do the job, we'll temporarily give you the Enterprise-D.
  
  But we've got this other captain right on the ship next door, and he's actually qualified and everything.  We're going to give him a shot.
  
  But thanks for playing.
• These commando outfits are cute.  I like the hoods.
• We learn in this episode that Riker graduated from Starfleet Academy in 2357, and was eighth in his class.
• I don't so much mind Captain Jellico running around yelling at everyone.  In fact, I kind of like it (and in some cases, I downright love it).  But I don't like him yelling at Geordi.  People are too hard on poor Geordi.
  
  And no, I don't feel bad for him because he's blind.  He's got awesome 24th Century super-vision.
  
  I feel bad for him because he's sad and terrible with women :P
• But!  He does yell at Riker a lot and he makes Troi wear a regular uniform.  So that makes him pretty awesome in my book.
• "And forgive me for being blunt, but the Enterprise is mine now."
• Captain Picard, Dr. Crusher and Lt. Worf depart for their covert mission into Cardassian space aboard the shuttlecraft Feynman.  The Feynman is a Type 7 shuttlecraft, which is somewhat unusual given that most of the auxiliary craft we see attached to the Enterprise-D in the latter seasons of TNG are either Type 6 shuttlecraft or the smaller Type 15 shuttlepods.
  
  The Feynman is named for 20th Century physicist Richard Feynman.
• Metagenic weapons sound super dangerous, and somewhat like the mythical neutron bomb (or at least the pop-culture understanding of the neutron bomb).
• Celtris III:  A planet we'll never hear about again.  Feel free to forget its name.
• "Celtris III is in Cardassian space.  How will we get there undetected?"
  
  "By using the sneakiest racial stereotype in all of Trek, of course.  A greedy Ferengi who likes to have his ears rubbed!"
• Apparently Worf doesn't like bats.
• The Cardassian vessel with which the Enterprise-D rendezvous is the Reklar, a Galor-class cruiser.
• Captain Jellico, somewhat preducially but also not entirely inaccurately, describes Gul Lamec--and by extension all Cardassians--as "timberwolves":  Aggressive in a large group, but cautious by themselves and always seeking to establish dominance.
• And Jellico even calls Deanna "Lt. Commander Troi" instead of "Counselor Troi".  I love this guy!
• A rock slide?  Man, it would be handy to have your ridiculously strong android on this mission.  Tell me why don't you take him on all the missions again?
• "There's no one here.  There's no lab!"
  
  
  
• Gul Madred, Picard's Cardassian captor and interrogator, is played by veteran actor David Warner.
  
  
  
  
  Warner makes two other prominent appearances in the Trek catalog:
  
  
  • St. John Talbot, the Federation representative on Nimbus III (Star Trek V:  The Final Fronter)
  • Gorkon, Chancellor of the Klingon High Council (Star Trek VI:  The Undiscovered Country)
  
  Nerds like me also remember Warner for playing "Sark" in the movie TRON.
  
• We learn a great deal about Captain Picard in this episode:  His Starfleet serial number is SP-937-215, his parents' names were "Maurice" and "Yvette" and he was born in La Barre, France. 
• "Hey Will, go grab a shuttle and, uh...head for the 'rendezvous point'.  Yeah, that's it."
• Gul Madred is quite candid with Captain Picard about the incredible toll that the long Federation-Cardassian War of 2347-2367 (and the even longer Occupation of Bajor of 2319-2369) took on Cardassia's economy and society.
  
  
  
  I've always wanted to know more about the Federation-Cardassian War.  It was such a long conflict, especially compared to the much more destructive (but much briefer) Dominion War.  I wish they'd done a movie or a mini-series that covered that period before they left the Prime Universe in the rear-view mirror.
  
  Imagine small task forces of Exclesiors, Ambassadors, Mirandas and Constellations engaged against Cardassian forces in a long, slow, almost "cold" war.  It would've been like Tom Clancy does Star Trek.
• The Seldonis IV Convention seems to be the 24th Century counterpart to our own Geneva Conventions (specifically, the Third Geneva Convention of 1949).
• And at this point, the episode kind of turns into Picard torture porn O_o
• Apparently no one who served with Riker during the events of "The Best Of Both Worlds" mentioned to Jellico that it's no use telling Riker that Picard is "gone" and that he has to "let him go".
• "How many lights do you see there?"
  
  And so it begins.  BRACE YOURSELVES, INTERNET.
• "As first officer, it is my responsibility to point out any actions that may be mistakes by a commanding officer, sir."
  
  "Then maybe it's time you find other responsibilities.  You're relieved.  Don't make me confine you to quarters as well."
• Lt. Commander Data looks good in a red shirt.
  
  
  
• "Do humans have mothers and fathers?"
  
  "Yes, but human mothers and fathers don't love their children as we do.  They're not the same as we are."
  
  Cardassian Take Your Daughter to Work Day is friggin' weird.
• "When children learn to devalue others, they can learn to devalue anyone--including their parents."
• "Her belly may be full, but her spirit will be hungry."
• Aaaaaand at this point, I just need to stop quoting everything that David Warner and Patrick Stewart say.  The interplay between them is so well-written and so perfectly acted, it may be some of the best drama ever featured in the franchise.  It's what you get when you take two talented actors, put them into a very tense set of scenes and let them operate under a bright and uncomfortable spotlight (or four spotlights, as the case may be--ba dum cha).
• Not only does Data look good in the red shirt, but he's very commanding.  I think he'd make a great first officer, and I'm kind of bummed out that we didn't get to see him fulfill that role aboard the Enterprise-E when Commander Riker departed to take command of USS Titan (Star Trek:  Nemesis).
• Does anyone get the crew of the Enterprise-D hopping like Captain Jellico?  I think not.
• Fake boiled egg, bro.
  
  Seriously, though.  Cardassian food and drink is beyond vile.  It makes stuff like bloodwine and gagh look positively delicious.
• "Torture has never been a reliable means of extracting information.  It's ultimately self-defeating as a means of control.  One wonders why it is still practiced."
  
  Well, apparently the Obsidian Order don't know all of that.  And neither does the CIA.
• "Truthfully, the man you want is Commander Riker.  He's the best there is."
  
  "At whoring?  Oh, you mean shuttle piloting.  Yeah, that too."
• "You're a sh*tty first officer!"
  
  "And you're a sh*tty captain!"
  
  "Will you fly the shuttle?"
  
  "Sure thing!"
• "Ho hum, ho hum...droppin' a bunch mines in a nebula."
• THERE.  ARE.  FOUR.  LIGHTS.
  

S06E06, S06E07, S06E08, S06E09

In this installment:
(viewed October 6th, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E06 - "True Q"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E07 - "Rascals"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E08 - "A Fistful Of Datas"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S06E09 - "The Quality Of Life"

---

"True Q"


With that hat on, he's 9'6" tall.

• The Argolis Cluster is a region of space that's visited by the Enterprise-D on at least two different occasions (TNG:  "I, Borg" & "True Q"), and was also a strategic point of interest during the Dominion War (DS9: "Behind The Lines" & "The Reckoning").
• Hey kids, it's Oliva d'Abo.
• "Miss Rogers, you've won yourself a rare opportunity.  Avail yourself of it."
  
  Translation:  "Don't f**k this up."
• Hey Riker, wanna stop eye-banging the intern?  I know the age of consent is probably 18 in the Federation, but still dude...ick.
• In my notes for this episode*, I had the two-word phrase "dog poop".  I'm not sure what that was all about.  Probably something about the puppies that Amanda summons.
  
  * - Sometimes I watch these episodes/movies right on the second display of my main workstation, so I have Blogger open and I'm writing as I watch it.  But sometimes I watch them on some other device (e.g. television or tablet) and keep short-hand commentary on the note-taking application of my smartphone, which I later translate into these blog posts.
• How many marine biologists could Starfleet possibly need?  I would think they'd farm that nonsense out to civilian scientists.  'Cause you know...very few whales and whatnot in deep space.
• "Data, bring down the isolation door.  We're gonna have to eject the warp core."
  
  Yeah, 'cause the ejection system is really, really dependable.
• "What is it about this squirming little infants that you find so appealing?
  
  "That's probably beyond your comprehension, Q."
  
  "I desperately hope so."
• "To put it simply, we're omnipotent."
• Although it's safe to assume that they've existed for some time, this is the first mention of Earth's weather modification network.
• "Well, if it isn't Number Two.
• I adore Dr. Crusher, but she does kind of make sense as an Irish Setter.
• I know it's because he can process the information so much more quickly, but does it seem like they make Data do the library research a lot?  It's sort of like "Hey, we know you're faster and stronger and more intelligent than anyone else on board.  Mind looking up the instructions for programming this universal remote?"
• Why does Amanda Rogers have to do ridiculous hand gestures when she uses her Q powers?  Q doesn't have any ridiculous hand gestures, and he's pretty flamboyant.  I don't care for it.
• Because he does it in Ten Forward in this episode, I bring you the YouTube compilation (not compiled by me) of Riker sitting down by swinging his leg over the top of chairs.
  
  
  
  
• Commander Riker looks awesome in that hat.  Just awesome.
• Apparently the preferred execution method of the Q Continuum is death by tornado?
• Tagra IV seems to have a planetary case of asthma.
• "I recall how you used your 'superior morality' when we first encountered you.  You put us on trial for crimes of humanity."
  
  "The jury's still out on that, Picard."
  
  I have to believe that in the writing of this scene, they got the idea for what would eventually become the series finale, "All Good Things..."

---

"Rascals"

• You mean Captain Picard is an amateur archeologist?  This is entirely brand new information.  I'm stunned.
• Shuttlecraft Fermi is yet another of the Type 6 shuttlecraft that's so prominent in the later seasons of TNG.  I was always a fan of this design; I think it looked less hot-roddish than designs introduced in VOY and the TNG-era movies (e.g. the Type 9 and Type 11).
• I'm pretty sure there's an unwritten rule that all mysterious energy fields, subspace distortions or other spacial anomalies must be blue.
• Hey Riker, you don't have to yell.  I'm pretty sure Chief O'Brien knows that the situation is dire.  His wife is on that shuttle.  Although the rest of us can't stand her, I think he loves her or whatever.
• "There's a 40% drop in mass.  I may have lost one of them."
  
  Or...
• Well, at least Guinan's hat still fits pretty well.
• I love how annoyed Riker is that Tiny Picard is giving him orders.
• "Were you this much fun when you were a kid?"
  
  "I was in a refugee camp.  'Fun' wasn't exactly in my vocabulary."
• And I love that nobody gave anybody on the bridge a heads up.  So when Tiny Picard walks on and starts giving orders, everyone's like "Whodaf**k is dis guy?"
• "Captain, may I see you privately for a few moments?"
  
  "Of course."
  
  "...but I'm going to act irritated about it."
• O'Brien trying to just "hang out" with Tiny Keiko is pretty amusing.  O'Brien is my favorite when he has his warface on, but he's my second-favorite when something is making him really, really uncomfortable.
• Tiny Picard running his fingers through his hair?  Also pretty hilarious.
• The actor who plays Tiny Picard, David Birkin, also played Picard's nephew René in the fourth-season episode "Family".
• "It's been a long time since I took genetics, Doctor."
  
  "...and I didn't understand it then."
• Is there anything you can't do (or undo) with a pattern buffer?
• This episode is the origin of the name "B'rel class" to describe one possible sub-type of the famous Klingon Bird-of-Prey.  Conventional fan wisdom says that the "B'rel" is the smaller, scout-type version and the "K'Vort" is the larger version that fills more of a cruiser role.
  
  In reality, there's no on-screen evidence to suggest that designations like "B'rel", "K'Vort" or "D-12" really indicate different types or variants of the Bird-of-Prey.
  
  In fact, in this episode, the "B'rel" class Birds-of-Prey are clearly not the small, scout-type ships we saw in the TOS-era movies and again in DS9.  These are larger, cruiser-type ships (and the footage is actually from the third-season episode "Yesterday's Enterprise", which was also re-used in fourth/fifth season two-parter "Redemption").
• I know they were caught by surprise, but even two Birds-of-Prey should be no match for a Galaxy-class starship, much less its vastly larger crew.  I know it's just the plot device they needed to use for this episode, so I'm cool with it.  And it's not like it's the first (or last) time that the mighty Enterprise-D is "tricked" by adversaries both poorly-equipped and significantly fewer in number.
  
  But it's still kind of silly.
• I wonder if Armin Shimerman and Max Grodénchik were mad that they cast a Ferengi episode without them.
• Hey, wait just a second.  This episode is basically just the movie Toy Soldiers on a starship.  Toy Soldiers was released in 1991 (a year before "Rascals" aired) and includes amongst its ensemble cast one Mr. Wil Wheaton, formerly a regular cast member of TNG.
  
  My theory?  Wil "liberated" a copy of the Toy Soldiers script from the TriStar set and smuggled it over to his pals at Paramount and was all "Hey guys, this would make a killer Trek episode.  You could come up with some kind of spacial anomaly that turns Picard into a teenager", and simultaneously he scored one for the Trek crew and got back at Patrick Stewart for all of the "Shut up, Wesley!" comments.
  
  That's definitely my theory.
• Tiny Guinan kind of creeps me out a little bit.  I think they told the actress "We know you're like 12, but can you act like you're a thousand years old and filled with all of the wisdom of the Universe?  Thanks."  And then it just got weird.
• Don't let Tiny Keiko handle the phasers.  That's just asking for trouble.
• This is both the most useful and the least irritating that Alexander has ever been, and ever will be until he's all growed up and shows up on DS9.
• When Tiny Picard has to act like a spoiled brat, and pretend that Commander Riker is his father?  Best part of the entire episode.
  
  
  
• "Thanks, Number One...he's my number one dad!"
• "How did it go?  Did Commander Riker get the message?"
  
  "He understood."
  
  Are we sure about that?  I mean, it's Riker and all.
• You know, I like to bag on Riker a lot.  But Jonathan Frakes is a cool dude (very fan-friendly).  And he's clearly a better actor than most of us give him credit for, given how great a job he does at pretending to be a terrible actor during this ruse they play against the Ferengi.
• "I believe you're in my chair."
• ♫ I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Bajoran refugee kid ♪
  
  (sung to the Toys "R" Us theme song)

---

"A Fistful Of Datas"

• "Hey, you know what we haven't done in a while guys?  A bullsh*t episode where the holodeck goes wonky."
  
  "Yeah, we haven't done a bullsh*t episode were everyone has to wear cowboy clothes in a while either."
  
  "Two birds, one stone?"
  
  "Let's do it."
• Hey kids, it's Picard's Ressikan flute!
• "Captain, we'd like your permission to take the Engineering computer offline for a couple of hours.  We're working on a new interface that would allow Data to access an emergency back-up in the event of a ship-wide systems failure."
  
  "Absolutely.  That doesn't at all seem like it could result in complete disaster or be the set-up for the entire episode.  Proceed, gentlemen."
• Grouchy Picard is grouchy.  LET THE MAN PLAY HIS FLUTE.
• She wants the Captain to play the butler.  TO PLAY THE BUTLER.
• I'm kind of thinking that if you're the captain of one of the largest, most powerful and most populous starships in the service of one of the largest, most powerful and most populous political entities in the entire galaxy, you don't get a lot of recreation time.
• Alexander's "game" is a prop made up of, among other things, the front bezels from 5.25" floppy disk drives.
  
  
  
  
  
  If you find that kind of prop stuff as fascinating as I do, Ex Astris Scientia has a whole section on it.  I heartily recommend it.  It's a fun read, if you're a turbo-nerd like me.
• Ooh, they're in Deadwood!
  
  
  
• "Geordi, I have noticed that you have not shaved.  Are you attempting to grow another beard?"
  
  "As a matter of fact I am, Data.  What do you think?"
  
  "As is the case with many natural growth process, it is difficult to envision the end product based on an intermediate stage."
  
  And you probably forgot to get permission from Riker, too.
• "I must admit, Data:  I never get used to seeing you like this."
  
  "I do not understand.  You are constantly working on similar electronic systems, yet their appearances do not disturb you."
  
  "Yeah, but you're not just another electronic system."
  
  "Thank you, Geordi.  Nor are you just another biological organism."
• "You wrote this holodeck program yourself?"
  
  "Well, Mr. Barclay helped a little."
  
  Way to blame poor Reggie for the hooker, kid.
• Klingons make terrible Old West sheriffs.
• The only thing more ridiculous than Old West Worf is Old West Troi.
• "There appears to be an energy fluctuation in my neural net."
  
  That can't be good.
• COUNSELOR DURANGO.
• "Computer, access 'Picard Mozart Trio, Program 1'."
  
  Oh, give it up dude.
• How does Riker not recognize Data's "Ode To Spot"?  That episode wasn't that far back.
  
  Oh, now he recognizes it.
• Geordi's reference to an "information retrieval net" is the first explicit mention of a (presumably wireless) network that allows the PADD devices to interface with the ship's computer.  We always assume there's been such a system, but this is the first time it's named.
  
  Watching this episode where Dr. Crusher's PADD retrieves information over a wireless network on my own iPad connected to the Internet via a wireless network is pretty awesome.  Welcome to the 24th Century!
• Data's cat is an a**hole.  Because it's a cat, and all cats are a**holes.
• Even on the holodeck, Data makes Worf look like a huge nancy.
• "Hey Brent, how would you feel about playing pretty much everybody in this episode?"
  
  "You betcha."
• When in doubt, build a personal shield out of your comm badge and some old telegraph equipment.  And then shake your head and wonder why Starfleet has let potentially thousands of their personnel be killed when building a personal shield is apparently so ridiculously easy that a meat-headed Klingon security chief can build one out of his comm badge AND SOME OLD TELEGRAPH EQUIPMENT.
• This picture doesn't have a caption or serve any purpose.  It just needs to be here.
  
  
  

---

"The Quality Of Life"

• "Commander, is your intention to...continue to grow your beard?"
  
  Because I'm pretty sure you still haven't asked Riker's permission.
• "Frankly Geordi, I like the beard."
  
  There you go.  Now you've got permission.
• "MY BEARD IS NOT AN AFFECTATION."
• Geordi is kind of being a jerk to Dr. Farrallon.
• "Exocomp?"  Sounds like something you'd carry around on your keychain, a la a Tamagotchi.
• Why's the black guy have to carry the Exocomp?
• The model for Dr. Farrallon's "particle fountain" is believed to have been based on an early study model for the now-familiar Earth Spacedock (first seen in The Search For Spock).  The same model, without its lower portion, was used as the depot at Qualor II in the two-part TNG episode "Unification" (prior to this episode).
  
  
  
• "Doctor, what is the definition of life?"
• You see what happens when you give your androids a conscience?  They go and screw up all of your plans.
• "I don't exactly know what the Exocomps are.  But you can be assured that until I do, I won't be treating them as simple tools."
  
  {insert your own "simple tool" joke here}
•