TNG S02E04

"So who's funny?"
"Eddie Murphy."
"Who can we afford?"
"Joe Piscapo."

In this installment:
(viewed May 31st, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S02E04 - "The Outrageous Okona"

---

"The Outrageous Okona"

• Okona's ship, the Erstwhile, is one of many redresses of the model built to portray the freighter Batris in "Heart of Glory".
• I forgot that Teri Hatcher played the lieutenant manning the transporter room in this episode.
• "Because you're a 'droid...and I'm...a 'noid."
• Hey look, kids!  It's Mr. Comic!
• "A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decide to go bowling together."
• The Atlec ship is one of many redresses of the Merchantman model from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
• Romeo & Juliet...IN SPACE!
• "Say goodbye, Data."
  "Goodbye, Data."

TNG S02E03

In this installment:
(viewed May 29th, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S02E03 - "Elementary, Dear Data"

"Elementary, Dear Data"

• Have I mentioned that I hate holodeck episodes?  They really are the TNG equivalent of the "Hey, we found a planet just like Earth!" episodes in TOS.
• HMS Victory, the ship-of-the-line of which Geordi has constructed a model as a gift to the captain of the USS Victory, was famously the flagship of Vice Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar in1805.  The real HMS Victory is preserved as a museum ship at Portsmouth, England.  She holds the honor of being the oldest still-commissioned warship in the world, being a couple of decades older than America's USS Constitution.
• Data ruins all the fun.
• And Dr. Pulaski is being a jerkface again.
• "Create an adversary capable of defeating Data."
  
  
  
• I wonder if every starship's main computer, after the Galaxy's first run, had completely a completely segregated computer core for the holodeck to prevent overly-eager engineers from dreaming up supervillains who can seize control of the ship.
• "Then I'll still fill you with crumpets, madam."
  
  Eww.

TNG S02E02

In this installment:
(viewed May 29th, 2013)

Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S02E02 - "Where Silence Has Lease"

---

"Where Silence Has Lease"

• Really, Worf?  You're going into a fight on the holodeck to prove your manhood (or Klingon-hood or whatever) and you pick Riker to go with you?  It's like these people don't even know Data's on the ship sometimes.  At least he almost kills Riker.
• You're like a hole in space, Wesley.  Shut up.
• "Recommend we fire a photon torpedo, Captain."
  
  When it doubt, blow it up.  It's the Klingon way!
• This is the first appearance of the Enterprise-D's sisters ship, USS Yamato (albeit a fake).
• Riker and Worf trying to figure out what's going on aboard the "Yamato"?  Blind leading the blind, etc. etc.
• "ONE RIKER!  ONE BRIDGE!"
• Fake Data and fake Troi, bro.
• "Captain, don't we want to...you know, cancel the self-destruct, sir?"
• "And Ensign, if you encounter any holes?  Steer clear."
  
  :sadwesley:

TNG S02E01

In this installment:
(viewed 5/28/2013-5/29/2013)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S02E01 - "The Child"

---

"The Child"

• Is this the one I think it is?  Oh crap, it is.  Not only is it a Troi episode, but we get introduced to my least-favorite Star Trek character of all time.
  
  (I should note that, 90% of the time at least, when I'm slamming a character I'm not slamming the actor who played them.  Diana Muldaur is a great actress, and Marina Sirtis has always been very generous with her time and very kind toward the fan community--as can be said of most of the TNG cast.  I simply don't care for these two characters.)
• On the upside, Geordi gets a promotion to chief engineer and Riker gets his beard!
• The awkward moment between Picard and Wesley in the turbolift?  Priceless.
• "Counselor Deanna Troi...is pregnant."
  
  "PREGNANT?!?"
  
  Calm down, Riker.  It's not yours.
• "It's strange to have armed guards in a delivery room."
  
  Yeah, well it's also strange to have a baby in 36 hours.  So pipe down, pipey.
• His name is pronounced "DAY-tuh".  I think part of why I never liked Pulaski is because she's such a jerkface to Data.
• This kid is even more dense than his mother.
• Oh, I forgot that we get Guinan!  She's quite the opposite of Troi and Pulaski.  I can't stand Whoopi Goldberg, but I always liked Guinan.
• Science Station Tango Sierra is yet another redress of the Orbital Office Complex from Star Trek:  The Motion Picture.
• Riker: "And who will tuck him in at night?"
  
  Wesley: "Come on, Commander."
  
  Worf: "I will accept that responsibility."

TNG S01E18, S01E19, S01E20, S01E21, S01E22, S01E23, S01E24, S01E25

In this installment:
(viewed May 26th-28th, 2013)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E18 - "Coming of Age"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E19 - "Heart of Glory"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E20 - "The Arsenal of Freedom"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E21 - "Symbiosis"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S01E22 - "Skin of Evil"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S01E23 - "We'll Always Have Paris"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S01E24 - "Conspiracy"
Star Trek:  The Next Generation, S01E25 - "The Neutral Zone"

---

"Coming of Age"

• No running the corridors, Wesley.
• This episode features the characters of Admiral Quinn and Lt. Commander Remmick, who we'll see again in the episode "Conspiracy".
• The rigorous entrance examination undergone by Wesley Crusher and other hopefuls makes Starfleet Academy seem much more exclusive than it could reasonably be, given that it has to produce officers to serve aboard what must be a minimum of a few hundred Starfleet vessels (not to mention planetary installations and starbases, etc.).  I suppose it's possible that Wesley's circumstances are out of the ordinary (perhaps he's applying for early entrance?), or perhaps the exam depicted is for more than just mere entrance to the academy.  Perhaps its for entrance into an accelerated program, or a program for especially gifted prospective cadets.
• It seems like it's pretty much impossible to promote people off the Enterprise.  Riker's forever turning down commands, and Picard won't go run the Academy.
• How is it possible that I'm just now noticing that Wesley's infamous sweater-jumpsuit-thingie has three colored stripes, with each stripe being the same color as one of Starfleet's service divisions (e.g. command red, operations gold, science blue)?
  
  
  
  
  
• The early TNG dress uniforms are the worst dress uniforms.
  

---

"Heart of Glory"

• The freighter Batris, said in this episode to be a Talarian vessel, will become one of the most redressed studio models in Trek history.
• Lt. La Forge's visual acuity transmitter is a piece of technology that we'll never see again, but it does teach us one important fact:  Geordi pretty much sees the world just like the Predator.
• This isn't the first time we see them, but I was reminded how much I hate the Type I phaser.  They were stupid in TOS, and the little "cricket" variety in TNG is just as silly-looking.
• Korris and Konmel are the first Klingons we see on TNG (aside from Worf, of course).  Aesthetically, the Klingons are largely unchanged from the TOS-era movies.  They still have the pronounced cranial ridges, and their uniforms are of the same armored-looking "should pad" type seen in the movies.
• When I heard them mention "merculite rockets" I was all like "What the frak is a 'merculite rocket'?  That's some nonsense that they made up and we'll never hear of them again."  And then I remembered that we totally do hear of them again, also on board Talarian ships in the fourth-season episode "Suddenly Human".
• When Kunivas dies, we get to see the Klingon death ritual for the first time--the fallen warrior is surrounded by their comrades, who hold their eyes open and stare into them until the moment of death.  Then they scream/howl into the air, as a warning to those in the afterlife that a (presumably dangerous) Klingon warrior is on their way.
• We see our first Klingon warship in this episode as well, which is a re-use of the K't'inga-class from the TOS-era movies.  The more-familiar (to TNG viewers) Vor'cha-class wouldn't be introduced until fourth-season episode "Reunion".
• It's aboard this K't'inga-class ship that we see an odd sight.  Behind K'Nera, who commands the ship, are two emblems--the emblem of the Klingon Empire, and the emblem of the United Federation of Planets.  Is it a diplomatic courtesy, to display the banner of your ally alongside your own when you meet them?  More likely, this was a one-off inclusion in the set that was intended to remind the viewers that the Federation and the Klingons are allies. 
  
  Combined with a similar one-off line in the second-season episode "The Samaritan Snare", it has caused a very, very minor controversy with Trekkies as to whether or not the Klingons were merely allies of the Federation, or if they actually belonged to the Federation briefly.  Most fans--myself included--tend to dismiss the rather scant evidence for a brief Klingon membership in the Federation and go with the comparative mountains of evidence for them being allies up through and including during the Dominion War (not counting their brief withdrawal from the Khitomer Accords in 2372).
  
  Bernd Schneider has a good little piece about this "controversy" over at Ex Astris Scientia.
• "Cowards take hostages.  Klingons do not."  Someone must not have told Worf about Kruge.
• The belt-buckle disruptor/phaser thingie is among the dumbest weapons ever.  I guess their transporters can pick up germs and whatnot, but not "Hey, these two Klingons have all of the parts to make a weapon in their clothes."
• Korris refers to adherrents of the peace treaty with the Federation as "traitors of Kling"--at the time of the writing of this episode, the name of the Klingon homeword (Kronos, or "Qo'noS") hadn't yet been settled upon.

---

"The Arsenal of Freedom"

• "Wow.  All of the people may be gone, but if this automated transmission is still working then some other systems might also be working on the planet--including deadly and unknown weapons systems."
  
  "Yep, we'd definitely better send some people down there instead of just sending a probe or something."
• Ensign T'Su is played by Julia Nickson, who I know better as "Co", the Vietnamese guide from Rambo:  First Blood Part II.
• "What's the armament on the Lollipop?"
• Hey, look at this!  It's the first of many attempts to trap Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher someplace and see what happens.  These two are like pandas--it doesn't matter how much time and privacy you give them, they just won't get with makin' the love.
• Chief Engineer Douchebag.
• Most of this episode is silly, but I do like Geordi's brush with the burden of command in the second act.
• The saucer separation sequence is a re-use of the footage from "Encounter at Farpoint".
• The miniature for the Echo Papa 607's attack drone was created from old pantyhose and shampoo containers.  Also, apparently the inhabitants of Minos adopted the NATO phonetic alphabet.
• "I can do it, Commander."
  
  "How?"
  
  "Because I'm a freaking android, sir."
• I had a memory of this being one of my least-favorite episodes of the first season, but really I was pleasantly surprised by parts of it.

---

 "Symbiosis"

• T'Jon, captain of the Ornaran freighter, is played by an old Trek veteran--Merritt Butrick (Dr. David Marcus from Star Trek II:  The Wrath of Khan and Star Trek III:  The Search for Spock).  "Symbiosis" would be one of Merritt's last television appearances--he died in 1989 of AIDS-related illnesses and complications.
• Solar flares:  They screw up everything from satellite television to tractor beams.
  (in fairness, in this context the term "stellar flare" would apply--these events are occurring from the star Delos, not Sol)
• T'Jon's counterpart, the Brekkian Sobi, is also played by a veteran of TWoK--Judson Scott (Khan's number two, Joachim).  He also plays a Romulan commander in the VOY episode "Message in a Bottle".
• I think I had some felicium once, in an opium den in Shanghai.  And let me tell you this, kids--FELICIUM IS WHACK.
• Dr. Crusher's Galaxy Methadone Clinic.
• Also:  The bit where Data and Yar explain why drugs are bad to Wesley might as well have been from an after-school special.

---

"Skin of Evil"

• Ah, here we are at last--the fateful last appearance of Lt. Natasha Yar (Denise Crosby).  What a way to go out--killed by an oil slick so you can go make movies and get famous.  FOR SHAME.
• All engineers before Geordi took over were obnoxious toolbags.  Witness Leland T. Lynch.
• Armus is...one of the more pants-on-head monsters in all of Trek.
• To add insult to injury, we not only have Yar being killed in a completely idiotic fashion but then we have to endure Counselor Troi's therapy session with Armus.  Blech.
• {insert tacked on, ridiculous "funeral" for arbitrarily killed character}

---

"We'll Always Have Paris"

• There's a glitch in the Matrix...err, cargo-bay-fencing-dojo-place. 
• Something something non-linear time experiments.
• Something something Picard on the holodeck in Paris, etc.
• I love it when Picard's all like "Oh for f**k's sake" and exits the holodeck.
• Woops.  Dr. Crusher is jealous of the new blonde.
• Antimatter, closing a time thing, the old scientist is fine after all.  Yay!
• "It's called the Blue Parrot Cafe.  And you're buying."

---

"Conspiracy"

• "I see.  So the difficulty in attaining such complex positioning in a zero-gravity environment, coupled with the adverse psychological effects it would have on the average human male is what makes this anecdote so amusing.  Yes, very humorous indeed.  Hysterical, in fact.  Heh heh heh heh heh."
• A Code 47 is serious, but not nearly as serious as Code 46.  I mean, seriously.  The latter was a completely unmitigated disaster.
• Three vessels meet the Enterprise at Dytallix B:  two "frigates" (USS Renegade and USS Thomas Paine), and the Ambassador-class USS Horatio.  Although the Enterprise-C will be the first Ambassador-class starship that we see on screen in the third season episode "Yesterday's Enterprise", this episode is the first mention of the class--the "missing link" between the Excelsior and Galaxy classes.
• This episode gives us the return of Admiral Quinn and Lt. Commander Remmick, who we first saw in "Coming of Age".
• Even if the rest of this episode wasn't pretty decent (not great, but decent), it would be worth watching just to see Riker get his butt kicked by an old man.
• Mmm...mealworms!
• The conclusion of this episode makes it clear that the alien parasites have the Federation in their sites...but all the way through TNG, DS9 and VOY they were never seen or heard from again.  Some fans theorize that they were intended to be the primary "threat" to Starfleet for TNG, but this was later changed to the Borg.

---

"The Neutral Zone"

• Worf bumping into the door and going "Ugh" is easily one of the funniest moments of TNG's first season.
• Wow, sleeper ship huh?  That can go pretty badly, lemme tell ya.  You'll wanna be careful with that thing.
• "...occupation, 'homemaker'--must be some kind of construction."
• According to this episode, we've only got about 27 years left before the television fad dies out.
• The Enterprise heads to the Romulan Neutral Zone to investigate Federation outposts that have gone silent, worrying about a possible confrontation with a Romulan Empire that hasn't been heard from in decades.  Sounds familiar.
• "He's comparing the Enterprise to a cruise ship?"
  
  No man, we're all doing that.  Your ship has a bar, dude.  A bar.
• This is our first look at the D'deridex class warbird, although it's not named as such in this episode.  Interestingly, this is one of the few occasions when the visual effects back-up the documented size of the warbird (twice as long as the Galaxy-class Enterprise).  In most effects shots in TNG and elsewhere, the D'deridex class appears to be roughly comparable in size.
• Romulan Commander Tebok is played by Marc Alaimo, who will go on to be most famous in his role as Gul Dukat on DS9.
• The Neutral Zone outposts, both Federation and Romulan, are often assumed to have been destroyed by the Borg.
• "We are back."
  

TNG S01E16, S01E17

In this installment:
(viewed Saturday, May 18th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E16 - "When The Bough Breaks"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E17 - "Home Soil"

---

"When The Bough Breaks"

• I believe, although I may be misremembering, that Data's explanation of the Aldean invisibility shield (and comparison to that used by the Romulans on a smaller scale) is the first time the actual mechanism behind the cloaking device is mentioned on screen.
• Radue needs to knock it off with the kidnapping nonsense and get back to ruling Romania.
  
  (yes, I know the spelling is a bit different)
• Okay, I mean...I know they're your kids and everything.  But these toolbags are going to give you all kinds of knowledge in exchange for them.  Just because some parents wanted to keep their precious little darlings, the Federation loses out on the chance to attain centuries of advancement instantaneously.  
• The kid sculpts a dolphin?  That's a little clichéd and derivative, don't you think? ;P
• Wesley Crusher:  An annoying little twerp, but surprisingly good at staging hunger strikes.  He's like a little Bobby Sands in a unisex jumpsuit!
• Alexandra holding out her hands and waiting for Picard to pick her up?  Simultaneously hilarious and adorable.  She reminds me of one of my nieces.
• I like how they figured out how to cloak their entire freaking planet, but they couldn't figure out chronic radiation syndrome.

---

"Home Soil"

• This whole terraforming thing would've been easier if they'd just worked out the kinks in the Genesis Device :P
• Joking aside, I've always liked this episode.  There are two kinds of Trek:  space adventures and true science fiction.  Among the latter, some of my favorite stories are ones that involve the discovery of life dramatically different from known flora and fauna.

'Star Trek Into Darkness' - spoileriffic ramblings

I hope you've all seen Star Trek Into Darkness.  As you've probably heard me say a million other places, it's got a lot of problems but it's still a good ride.

I reviewed the movie for Ars Technica, and you can read that review here.  It contains very little in the way of spoilers, and those are well-marked (I can't say the same for the comment thread, however).

But because I did want to vent a little about some of the things I didn't much care for, including explicitly discussing plot details, I've made what was supposed to be a short video--a sort of spoiler-filled accompanying commentary to my written review.

It's lengthy, but the thought of trying to go back and do another one that's shorter is more than I can bear at this time of night.

But anyway, here it is.  And like I said, it's chock full of spoilers.  You've been warned.

TNG S01E15

In this installment:
(viewed Friday, May 17th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E15 - "Too Short a Season"

---

"Too Short a Season"

• This whole episode is really a safety advert for paying close attention to dosage instructions on prescription medications :P

TNG S01E12, S01E13, S01E14

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, May 14th & Wednesday, May 15th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E12 - "Datalore"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E13 - "Angel One"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E14 - "11001001"

---

"Datalore"

• This is one of my favorite episodes in the first season, and one of the few truly good ones.  We get to meet to of my favorite TNG antagonists:  Lore and the Crystalline Entity.
• I know that Data's quest for humanity is his big character arc and is endearing, etc. etc. etc.  But I've always found the moments when he's trying to mimic humanity (e.g. his attempt to learn to sneeze in this episode) to be tiresomely cheesy.
• The vessel that discovered Data on Omicron Theta was the USS Tripoli.  We're never given much more information about it, although the Star Trek Encyclopedia lists it as a "Hokule'a"-class cruiser.  It would later serve in the Dominion War.
  
  (The Hokule'a class starship is never seen on-screen, but Ex Astris Scientia's "Advanced Starship Design Bureau" has fan-created speculative designs that are pretty interesting.  "Hokule'a" probably refers to the Polynesian-style sailboat that made a voyage from Hawaii to Tahiti in 1976.)
• "If you had an off switch, Doctor, would you not keep it secret?"
• I think this is the most time we ever get to spend with Chief Engineer Argyle--the other, lesser chief engineer aboard NCC-1701-D.
• Brent Spiner clearly enjoyed getting to play Lore.  It's evident from the moment we meet the character, and his performance lends a significant measure of enjoyment to the episode.
• Pretty sure Lore just copy-pasted Data's regular cheek over top of his own facial tic.
• Nobody ever listens to Wesley.  SHUT UP, WESLEY.  SHUT UP, WESLEY.
• Ah, yes.  This episode also gives us our first example of Worf being completely emasculated by way of getting his butt kicked by Data (or in this case, Lore).

---

"Angel One"

• If I remember correctly, this episode is the first mention of the Romulans in TNG.  While Troi and the away team are on the surface of Angel I negotiating with the matriarchal government, Picard instructs Worf to prepare the ship for a trip into the Neutral Zone because of reports of Romulan "battle cruisers" near Federation outposts.
• "On the Enterprise, Mr. Crusher, nothing just happens."
  
  Friends don't let friends hit the captain with a snowball.
• Riker, Troi and Yar explaining aphrodisiacs to Data almost turns into a really, really uncomfortable three-way.
• "Our library is far too complicated for a man to understand."
  "I'm a robot, lady.  Super-smart and everything."
• "I think I may sneeze."
  "A Klingon sneeze?"
  "The only kind I know."
• "In the interest of diplomatic relations, I will remain here with Mistress Beata while you conduct your search."
  
  Yeah.  Diplomatic relations.
• I guess we just get to see everybody's chest hair in this episode.
• USS Berlin, the other starship answering the alarm from the Federation outposts in/near the Neutral Zone, is an Excelsior-class starship which will be mentioned again in the episode "Brothers".

---

"11001001"

• The title of this episode makes me think of the Clutch song "10001110101".
• Obviously a reuse of the Earth Spacedock model/footage, Starbase 74 is one of the larger starbases we see in any Trek series or film.
• This episode is the first mention of the 24th Century game/sport of Parrises Squares.
• "Rest assured, Commander.  We will be victorious, at whatever the cost."
  "Worf, it's just a game.  A friendly little competition.  You work up a sweat, you have a few laughs, and you make new friends."
  "If winning is not important, then Commander...why keep score?"
• "A blind man, teaching an android how to paint?  That's gotta be worth a couple of pages in someone's book."
  
  This is also the first time that Data paints.
• "Blonds and jazz seldom go together."  Oh yeah?  I'm going to call this "Riker's Law".
• This episode is also the first appearance of Minuet.
• I think this is also the first episode where Riker plays the trombone.  I guess there's all kinds of "firsts" here, some of them better than others.
• One thing we learn in TNG, everyone loves jazz and classic.  Very few surviving metalheads in the 24th Century.
• "Let's go, we've only got 41 seconds."  So let's just stroll into the turbolift.
• Need to reboot your planet's computer?  Steal a starship.  It's the 24th Century equivalent of an emergency boot disk, apparently.
• Also, you can get pretty much anywhere on a Galaxy-class starship in under five minutes.

TNG S01E11

In this installment:
(viewed on Monday, May 13th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E11 - "The Big Goodbye"

---

"The Big Goodbye"

• I hate this episode, just like I hate all holodeck episodes that don't involve Moriarty.  I'll see you in 43 minutes. 
• Yep, still hate it.

TNG S01E09, S01E10

I don't have a funny caption here.  Something about "flip-top" Riker,
or "Hey Q, try to get that popcorn in my mouth".  I'm too tired
to think of something coherent.

In this installment:
(viewed Sunday, May 12th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E09 - "Hide and Q"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E10 - "Haven"

---

"Hide and Q"

• I hate, hate, hate the early TNG iteration of the Type II phaser.  The later iterations aren't a lot better (I know they were trying for a less-military aesthetic, but I greatly prefer the more pistol-like design of the 23rd Century models), but the early one is just terribad.  It looks like a dustbuster had a baby with a stick of roll-on deodorant.
  
  
  
  
• Also, there are approximately 457,932 different "admiral" uniforms throughout TNG/DS9/VOY.  I think they finally settled on one sometime during DS9, but there were just variations all over the place for most of the 24th Century Star Trek series. 
• I do enjoy how much Q teases Worf.  "Macro-head, with a micro-brain!"
• "Q's Penalty Box" sounds like a great song title for my band, the Fissles of Häng.
• "So...what are we doing with this episode?"
  "What about, I don't know...pig-faced Napoleonic soldiers?"
  "Yeah, that'll work.  Write it up!  John de Lancie will polish up this turd for us."
• Let's pretend I'm a crew member aboard good ol' NCC-1701-D and Q offers me omniscience, omnipotence and immortality.  I'd accept.  End of episode.
• Riker's increasing arrogance as he considers accepting Q's offer has shades of Gary Mitchell.  Obviously not as amoral, but you can certainly see it going there if the episode hadn't taken a different turn.
• "Let us pray for understanding, and for compassion."
  "Let us do no such damned thing!"
• The Klingon woman dreamed up for Worf, the first one we've seen since Valkris, dresses like a heavily-armored Cher.
• "How did you know, sir?  I feel like such an idiot."
  "Quite right, so you should."

---

"Haven"

• "Such a beautiful world.  Legends say it has been known to mend souls and heal broken hearts."
  "Legends which are totally unsupported by fact, Captain."
  
  I love you, Data.
• Armin Shimerman, better known for playing Ferengi (most notably Quark on DS9), makes a rather unusual appearance in the episode as a Betazoid gift box.
• In some of these early TNG episodes, Troi calls Riker "Bill".  It cracks me up every time.
• This is our first encounter with Lwaxana Troi, played by the incomparable Majel Barrett-Roddenberry.  Hate the character, love the actress.
• Ah, the Tarellians.  The first of many so-called "T-races" on TNG.
• "Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."
• I've always hated the Betazoids.  That is all.
• "So the fate of our entire species rests with a douche in a turtleneck named Wyatt?"

TNG S01E07, S01E08

The original uniforms for the employees of Disney's
EPCOT had to be...adjusted slightly.

In this installment:
(viewed Saturday, May 11th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E07 - "Justice"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E08 - "The Battle"

---

"Justice"

• I think this is the one with the half-naked people who want to kill Wesley, right?  Right.
• The scene where Riker, Troi, Yar, Worf and Wesley beam down, and the Edo greet them with creepy/sexy hugs?  Unbearably awesome and terrible at the same time.  And then Rivan goes over to Wes and is all "Oh, you're young.  No sexy hugs for you!"  Womp womp.
• Flowers?  Sunshine?  Running everywhere?  Look, I don't care how sexy the people are...Rubicun III sucks.
• Picard's "Why does everything become a 'something' or a 'whatever'?" is very reminiscent of McCoy's "Why is any object we don't understand always called a 'thing'?" from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
• Damn it, Wesley.  THOSE WERE BRAND NEW FLOWERS.
• "Why are they so certain it's a god?"
  "Any sufficiently advanced lifeform would appear to others to be that, sir."
  
  An excellent restating of the third of the so-called "Clarke's Laws".

---

"The Battle"

• This episode is the first time we see DaiMon Bok, who will show up again in "Bloodlines".
• Apparently there are no headaches in the 24th Century.  I could definitely go for that.
• It's also our first glimpse at the Constellation class, in the form of USS Stargazer, Picard's first command.  The ship was originally supposed to be a Constitution-class starship (in fact, a line of dialog was overdubbed after the model was built).  This chunky little class of starship, characterized as a sort of exploratory workhorse, is oddly one of my favorite Federation starship designs--probably owing to its shared lineage with designs like the Constitution refit and the Miranda.
• Yay, Picard Maneuver!
• "I don't want a computer science lesson, Data!" <-- Apparently the concept of a checksum doesn't make it into the computer classes taught in command track at Starfleet Academy :P
• "You're welcome ladies...adults."  You so smooth, Wesley.

TNG S01E06

In this installment:
(viewed on Thursday, May 9th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E06 - "Lonely Among Us"

---

 "Lonely Among Us"

• "These lifeforms feel such passionate hatreds over passions, god concepts, even--strangely enough--economic systems."
• Riker explains to the Anticans that human beings no longer "enslave" animals for food, further explaining that meat consumed by humans is replicated.
• Man, Enterprise-D was pretty much just falling apart until they gave Geordi the chief engineer job, wasn't it?
• "What's happened to your mind, Doctor?"
• Oh, by the way--while you've been joining minds with a pure energy lifeform from a cloud in space or whatever, these diplomats have been hunting and eating each other.  Just a heads up.

TNG S01E03, S01E04, S01E05

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, May 7th & Wednesday, May 8th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E03 - "Code of Honor"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E04 - "The Last Outpost"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E05 - "Where No One Has Gone Before"

---

"Code of Honor"

• On tonight's episode of Socially-Backward Brown People Kidnap the Pretty White Lady...
• You let Wesley Crusher on your bridge one time, and he'll never leave.
• In which Data and La Forge talk about shaving and humanity.
  

---

"The Last Outpost"

• Our first look at the Ferengi, and their "D'Kora"-class starship.
• Data's description of the Ferengi as "the worst kind of capitalists" sets the tone for how they shape up over the course of TNG and DS9, although it takes some time for a full picture of their culture to emerge (as with all alien species introduced throughout the history of Star Trek).  Other Ferengi cultural traits that gets introduced early is their revulsion at the physical appearance of human beings and their disgust at clothed females.
• "Yankee Trader."
  "He heard that!"
• I think I had a Playmates action figure of one of these Ferengi d-bags with the energy whips.
• One of the Ferengi who beam down to the planet's surface is played by Armin Shimmerman, who we better know and love as that most famous Ferengi, Quark.
• I completely forgot the end of this episode, with the guardian dude from the TKon Empire showing up.

---

"Where No One Has Gone Before"

• The footage of USS Fearless at the beginning of this episode is a re-use of the footage of the Excelsior-class USS Hood from "Encounter at Fairpoint".
• This is, famously, our first encounter with the Traveler.
• The only thing more annoying than Wesley is when Commander Caveman dismisses Wesley's concerns out-of-hand :P
• Tasha really ought to be in therapy.
• And this, of course, is the episode where Wesley becomes a provisional officer aboard the Enterprise (in his case, an "acting ensign").

TNG S01E02

In this installment:
(viewed Tuesday, May 7th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E02 - "The Naked Now"

---

"The Naked Now"

• Enterprise encounters SS K.E. Tsiolkovskiy, a civilian Oberth-class science vessel.
• The general premise of this show is obviously very similar to the TOS episode "The Naked Time".  In fact, it's exactly the same--and they reference the events of TOS.
• This episode features the "Great Bird of the Galaxy" Okudagram.
  
  
  
  
• "There was a young lady from Venus
  Whose body was shaped like a..."
• "SO YOU MEAN I'M DRUNK!"
• "If you prick me, do I not...leak?"
  Drunk Data is the best Data.

I only had time for the one episode before work today, but I might try to watch another after work tonight.  Toodles!

 

TNG S01E01

In this installment:
(viewed Monday, May 6th)

Star Trek: The Next Generation, S01E01* - "Encounter at Farpoint Parts 1 & 2"

(* - This is usually listed as two episodes, but Netflix considers both parts to be the first episode of the first season. Keeping with Netflix's numbering will leave me an episode short on my numbering at the end of the season, but that's just aesthetic--and it would drive me nuts to start deviating from their numbering as I'm moving through the seasons.  Be there is mind as I encounter other two-party episodes that Netflix may treat as a single episode.)

---

"Encounter at Farpoint (Parts 1 & 2)"

• Sadly, it doesn't appear that the TNG episodes on Netflix are the recently-remastered ones.  I can't really blame them though, as these are much more recent (and indeed, still on-going) remasters than TOS-R.  I guess it just gives me incentive to stop procrastinating and buy them on Blu-ray.
• Unlike NCC-1701 (which wasn't described as a "Constitution"-class until the 24th episode of TOS, "Space Seed"), NCC-1701-D is explicitly stated to be a "Galaxy"-class starship in the series premiere, in Patrick Stewart's opening monologue.
• "Shut off that damn noise!"
  "Uh, sir...that damned noise lets us know that we might be in trouble.  It's called 'red alert'.  You...have commanded a starship before, haven't you?"
• Sometimes I forget just how quickly we get to Q -- right before the first commercial break, even.  I love his condemnation of humanity as a "Dangerous, savage child race", which comes back in the series finale, "All Good Things...".
• They pulled out all of the toys in the first episode, including saucer separation.
• "This is 1987, we should probably have them visit a shopping mall."
• "The saucer module now entering orbit with us, sir."
  "Acknowledged...Commander Riker will perform a manual docking.  Picard out."
  
  Bwahahahaha!
• The first episode of TNG also features its first appearance by a member of the TOS cast -- 137-year-old Admiral Dr. Leonard McCoy.
• We also see our first non-Enterprise Starfleet vessel in TNG--the Excelsior-class USS Hood.
• Ugh.  I forgot that they busted out "Imzadi" in the first episode, too.
• Ah, Data whistlin' on a holodeck.
• "The meaning of that vessel is as plain...as plain as the noses on your ugly little primate faces."  We love you, John de Lancie.
• That's no moon starbase, it's a space station jellyfish.

TOS-era movies = Complete!; Overall progress = 15% (maybe? I'm kind of losing track)

'Star VI: The Undiscovered Country'

• Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is either my second- or third-favorite TOS-era film, depending on my mood.  For the things I love the most about this period in Trek--awesome motion-controlled starship models, great villains and lots of quality time with the Kirk/Spock/McCoy triumvirate--this movie delivers.
• I love Cliff Eidelman's score for this movie.  He's no James Horner, but it still has the perfect tone for the film.  And even if parts of the opening overture are very reminiscent of Holst's "Mars", it's still good stuff.
• This was the first Star Trek movie that I was able to see in the theater (for my first viewing of it, at least).  I was 12 years old when it came out, and my older brother--who is largely responsible for my love of Trek in the first place--took me to see it.  Everyone in the theater was blown away (pun intended) by the opening sequence (the Praxis explosion).
• Speaking of firsts, this was the first Star Trek film released after Gene Roddenberry's death in October of 1991.  He was reportedly not overly-pleased with the film's military tone, a go-around he frequently had with the studio during the 1980s (and one reason, in my opinion, that the early seasons of TNG were so explicitly non-military in tone).
• This is also the second film directly by my favorite Trek director, Nicholas Meyer (although he had helped to write parts of ST3 and ST4).
• There's a load of great background stuff on the writing of this movie available in the extras of the "special edition" DVD.  I'm not going to rattle it all off here, but I would encourage anyone who's a fan of the movie to check them out.  The themes, the overall tone, the production of the story (which Nick Meyer jokes as having been "the first script ever composed over email"), etc.
• Our first Enterprise vet to get their own ship (not counting Spock commanding the Enterprise on training voyages), Sulu now commands the fully-operational USS Excelsior.
• Many of the actors, sets, etc. from the USS Excelsior in this movie will be used in the VOY episode "Flashback".
• The film's story is clear allegory for both the Cold War and racial prejudice.  In regard to the latter, some of the dialog dealing with such was very difficult for members of the cast to recite--especially Nichelle Nichols and Brock Peters.
• Speaking of Brock Peters, he's one of three actors to appear in this movie that will also have regular or semi-regular roles on DS9.  He will play Joseph Sisko, Rene Auberjonois plays Col. West and will play Odo on DS9, and Michael Dorn plays Col. Worf and will go on to play that character's grandson on both TNG and DS9.
• "Don't believe them! Don't trust them!"
  "They are dying."
  "Let them die!"
  
  ^^^ Probably not an easy scene for them to shoot, especially Shatner (no one likes to see the hero they play start showing their cracks)--but it's one of my favorite in the movie.
• It's beyond nerdy to have a favorite starship bridge, but the redone bridge for NCC-1701-A in this movie (a militaristic redress of the original movie-era Enterprise bridge, which itself had been redressed a million times) is probably my favorite.
• Valeris was originally supposed to be Saavik, but that was nixed by multiple people (including Gene Roddenberry) because they felt it was too far out of character for Saavik.  I personally was fine with the new character, but I think that using Saavik in that role would have made her betrayal of Spock even more profound and horrific.  Plus we'd get to see Robin Curtis again, who I dramatically prefer as an actress to Kim Cattrall.
• Spock is practically a full-blown hippie in this movie.  "Have faith"...really?  Did someone forget their pointed ears this morning? O_o
• Many of the movie-era starships get tarted up and are really showcased in this film (yet another reason I love it so much), and the venerable K't'inga class battlecruiser is no exception.  Kronos One is one of my favorite models ever done for Trek.  The brief scene when we first see her, as she swings into view and then swoops overhead?  Yowza.  Someone knew the strengths of that model's aesthetics when they planned out those shots.  Same for when she swings up to attack after the assassination sequence.
  
  
  
• I looooooove the Klingons in this movie.  They're finally presented as people, with personalities and passions.  The closest we'd gotten to this before was Christopher Lloyd's portrayal of Commander Kruge in ST3, which didn't really get much breathing room.  Chancellor Gorkon (masterfully played by Trek veteran David Warner) is probably one of my favorite Klingons, even with as little screen time as he gets.
• General Chang was obviously written to rival Khan Noonien Singh as "greatest Trek movie villain of all time".  While he doesn't  hold a candle to him (not for lack of effort by Christopher Plummer, who is awesome), he's a solid second place.
• Having spent more days hungover in my life than I care to admit (although maybe fewer than you might guess), I always have a lot of sympathy for everyone after the Romulan ale.  I mean, I'm doing well if I can manage to order a Jimmy John's sandwich and get off my sofa for a shower.  If I had a hangover and someone told me I had to save the galaxy?  I'd probably shoot myself.
• The torpedo hit and assassination sequence is really well-paced and awesomely done...but they went through a lot of trouble to point out that Klingon blood is pink in this movie, and then pretty much never bother with it again.
• Remember how nerdy I said it was to have a favorite starship bridge?  Well, I also have a favorite model of phaser pistol--and it's the version of the Type 2 phaser in this movie.
  
  
  
• Even though I saw him in this movie first, I'm so used to seeing Kurtwood Smith as Red Foreman on That 70s Show that when I re-watch this movie I'm always a little disappointed that he doesn't call anyone "dumbass".
• "...the rising danger of terrorism between the Federation and the Klingon Empire."  You mean like two out of the preceding five movies, where rogue Klingon commanders went all Hans Gruber on the Federation?
• "Sir, those men have literally saved this planet."
  "Yes Bill, I know that.  And now they're going to save it again...by standing trial."
• "Doctor McCoy, could you be so kind as to tell me...what is your current medical status."
  "Aside from a touch of arthritis, I'd say...pretty good."
  *Klingon lulz*
• "DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION, ANSWER ME NOW!"
  
  This line is a somewhat angrier homage to Adlai Stevenson's demand of the Soviet ambassador to the United Nations during the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis.
• "Not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place, Captain."
  
  Ain't that the truth.
• (Martia kisses Kirk, then leaves)
  Bones:  "What is it with you, anyway?"
  Kirk:  "Still think we're finished?"
  Bones:  "More than ever."
• The role of "night-shift communications officer" aboard the Excelsior (the guy who wakes Sulu up) was, as most of you know, played by Christian Slater.  A long-time Trekkie, Slater got his mommy to hook him up with a cameo.
• The scene where Uhura has to speak Klingon and they all have to find phrases in big old books?  All because "the universal translator would be recognized"?  That is...bad.  It's really one of the few groan-worthy scenes in the movie.  I know it's supposed to be funny, but it's just stupid.  I thinking forcing it over the objections of others (including Nichelle Nichols, who thought it was silly that Uhura wouldn't speak the language of the Federation's main rival) is one of the few poor decisions made by Nick Meyer in this movie.
  
  And then there's the fact that the Klingons apparently buy the whole bit?  Blech.
  
  In the novelization of the movie (one of the few Trek books I've read), it explicitly mentioned that the Klingons just assume they're smugglers and let them go--"Don't catch any bugs" is apparently the Klingon smugger-speak equivalent of a wink and a nod.  That's a little better, at least.
• The Kirk-on-Kirk fight?  I think this was a fantasy for both Kirk the character and Shatner the actor.  It's also very reminiscent of a similar seen in the TOS episode "Whom Gods Destroy".
• This movie is kind of a fan's movie.  It establishes a lot of accepted factoids as canon for the first time:  Kirk's middle name ("Tiberius") and Sulu's first name ("Hikaru"), the official name of the refit design of the Enterprise as still being "Constitution"-class (as opposed to a speculative "Enterprise"-class), etc.  Most of these things had appeared in other media (books, games, TAS--which was not, at the time, considered canon) and had been assumed to be true by most fans, but this was the first time we saw them on screen.
• "What you want is irrelevant.  What you've chosen is at hand!"  <-- One of my favorite Spock lines, ever.
• Valeris' interrogation on the bridge is a very hard scene to watch.  Any Trekkie knows how intimate the mind meld is for Vulcans, and a forced mind meld could be called a rape of sorts.  Although I didn't think much of it at the time, it's a very harsh measure to take--even in the heat of the moment, with everything at stake.  It certainly doesn't seem very heroic.  It does make for a hell of a scene, though.  Very intense, very visceral.  Leonard Nimoy does a great job of portraying how unpleasant it is for him, and Kim Cattrall does a not-awful job of portraying how unpleasant it his for her.
• "She does not know."
  "Then we're dead."
  "I've been dead before."
• "Spock, you wanna know something?  Everybody's human."
  "I find that remark...insulting."
• Khitomer is not only the site of the peace talks in this movie and the place where the alliance between the Federation and the Klingons first begins to take shape, but it's also the site of the Romulan sneak attack in which TNG's Worf lost his parents (and in which his father would be falsely implicated).
• The Battle of Khitomer is one of the great starship battles in Trek, right up there with the Battle of the Mutara Nebula, the Battle of Wolf 359, the Battle of Sector 001, the Second Battle of Chin'toka and the Battle of Cardassia.
• Because I watched this movie a lot with my siblings, I have a bit of juvenile humor that I can't help but mentally insert into the scene in this movie when Spock has his brilliant idea for tracking Chang's Bird-of-Prey prototype.  When he says "Gas!" and everyone looks at him, I say to myself "I've got gas!"
  
  Sounds stupid, but it gets a laugh in a room with your younger siblings when you're all <15.
• "I'd give real money if he'd shut up."
• This is kind of sexist, but among a select group of my friend's, Kirk's exclamation of "Fire!" has become code for an exceptionally attractive female.  I'm not proud of that, but it makes me laugh.
  
  
  
• The explosion of Chang's vessel will be re-used for the destruction of the Duras Sisters' vessel in Generations.
• I like that they let Scotty kill the baddy.
• "If I were human, I believe my response would be...'Go to hell.'  If I were human."
• "Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning."

 Star Trek VI is one of my favorites for a reason.  Not only does it have all of that great stuff I love--starship combat, Kirk/SpockMcCoy being awesome, etc.--but it also has a solid story.  There are larger themes of conflict and prejudice, and underneath it all is something of an old fashioned murder mystery.  You could take this story out and re-work it as a Cold War thriller and it would still be great.

'Star Trek V' - Yes, it did happen

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is the black sheep of the TOS-era movie family.  Like Highlander 2 or Windows ME, it's something that even enthusiastic fans prefer to pretend never happened.

Why is this?  Because ST5 is an awful film, plain and simple.  

The plot, while striving for epic metaphysical and humanist gold, falls so far short that it might as well have been a discarded Outer Limits script.  

William Shatner, although I have much love and respect for the man, was also apparently not much of a director.  

Then you've the special effects--something that, thanks to Industrial Light & Magic, the Star Trek films had been able to do very well up to this point.  Unfortunately, ILM was unavailable for ST5 (I've heard it's because they were busy on the third Indiana Jones movie and the Ghostbusters sequel).  So the effects were farmed out to various second-tier shops...and it shows.  From the "Hey, you can almost see the green screen!" effects of the shuttle crash-landing to the short-shrifted confrontation with "God", the lack of budget and cohesion on the visual effects shows.

This was the movie that almost killed Star Trek.  It was so poorly-received, that it essentially ended Harve Bennett's association with the franchise.

And yet, I can't help but re-watch the movie from time to time.  Why is that?  Because for all of its flaws--and they are plentiful and profound--ST5 delivers in one important area:  Character interaction, especially between Kirk, Spock and McCoy.

As I've said elsewhere, that interaction is one of my favorite things about these original cast films.  Hell, it may be my favorite thing about them.  So despite all that's wrong with ST5, I don't apologize for appreciating it for the little corners where it succeeds.

So bring on the suck.

---

• Sybok, Spock's half-brother and our "villain" (if you can call him that) for this little disaster is played by Laurence Luckinbill, who I generally prefer when he's recruiting young men for Operation Mindcrime.  Reportedly, the producers originally wanted Sean Connery, who wisely told them to get bent (presumably, he was busy doing something awesome).
• Wait, a lady with three boobs in a bar?  I think Total Recall has an apology to make.
• Caithlan Dar. Rowr.
• St. John Talbot, the Federation representative on Nimbus III, is played by David Warner--who thankfully was given a chance to play a much better role in a much better Star Trek movie.  He also played Gul Madred in the two-part TNG episode "Chain of Command".
• Nobody cares about Korrd.
• "I think this new ship was put together by monkeys."
• Hey, Kirk:  "Tennessee whiskey" ≠ "bourbon" (usually)
• "I've always known...I'll die alone."
  ...
  You know, except for when I don't die alone two movies from now.
• What the f**k is a "marshmellon"?  I thought you were a smart guy, Spock.
  
  (There's actually a silly "fanon" explanation for this.  I believe it involves the accusation that McCoy screwed with the ship's computer so Spock would get the name wrong when he did his researching for "camping out".)
• Even the Klingons in this move suck.  A bunch of punks who can't afford sleeves and run around shooting old space probes.  Between this movie and ST3, we can pretty much assume that the Klingon High Council doesn't spend a lot of time keeping track of where its Bird-of-Prey commanders are, or what they're up to.
• "'All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by'."
  "Melville."
  "John Masefield."
  "Are you sure about that?"
  "I am well-versed in the classics, Doctor."
  "Then how come you don't know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat'?"
• "I could use a shower."
  "Yes."
• "Hey, Nichelle...you can sing, right?  You used to do some singing in the series?"
  "Yeah, actually.  Are you going to let me sing in this movie?"
  "Yes.  But there's a catch."
• "What's 'Emergency Landing Plan B'?"
• "You mean he's your brother-brother?  You made that up."
  
  It's pretty idiotic that Spock doesn't tell them that Sybok is his half-brother earlier.
• Why does the space-toilet in the brig say "DO NOT USE WHILE IN SPACE DOCK"? O_o
• "I know this ship like the back of my head."
  *konk*
• 78 decks?  That's only 3-4x too many.  No biggie.
• "Oh my God, don't do this to me!"
  Even in this steaming pile of a movie, DeForest Kelley turns in a great performance.  I'm beginning to think that not only is he one of my favorite actors from the original cast, he may be the best actor of the bunch (no disrespect to the others).
• Pretty sure Dr. McCoy mercy-killed his dad with a Game Boy.
• I know I said it earlier in my intro...but blech, these VFX are baaaaaaaad, even for 1989.
• "Excuse me, I'd just like to ask a question.  What does God need with a starship?"
• There was supposed to be a big fight with some rock people at the end here or whatever, but it didn't go down because:  1) The VFX budget was blown by all of the other crappy effects; and 2) That would have been laaaaaaaaame.
• "Damn you, sir.  You will try."
• "Please, Captain.  Not in front of the Klingons."
• "I lost a brother once.  I was lucky I got him back."

And that's that...the worst of the original cast films.  We laughed, we cried, we asked God what he needed with a starship.